I almost wasn’t going to post today, but the awesomenity of Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy convinced me.
Click and be amazed.
1.
When someone makes you feel like crawling into a hole? It’s really nice to have other people for friends. Thank you, friendly people, for being out there.
2.
We’ve guessed all summer that there was a hummingbird’s nest in our apple tree, because Mrs. Hummingbird has been especially aggressive about chasing off birds that get to close to her portion of the tree. The little guy has started coming out now, and here’s the funny bit: He sits down to drink.
3.
<insert your item here>. We’re going to Chik-Fil-A.
3.5
Book department update: Good news, hopefully to be announced this time next week?
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And with that, I’m back to regular life. I’ll keep y’all in my prayers, and I’m trying to work through my blogging backlog in addition to doing all the other stuff I need to do, so look for me to pop in with this or that, time permitting. Have a great week!
(And yes, you can post links. I am, by the way, reading comments. Oh, about once a week, but I am. And trying to reply as well.)
Since the arrival of the chickens, I’ve been noticing how much better we understand the English language now that we have two hens in our yard. So here’s the discovery today: Our chickens, who are indeed chicken when it comes to many things, managed to scare away the cat. Because apparently, in addition to being catty (which we knew – ouch), she’s also a fraidy-cat. I guess that tells you how to rank your insults, when measuring cowardice.
3.
I already knew, before Sunday, that Brandon who writes at Siris is the smartest guy I read. (I only read him some of the time — he exceeds me mightily more often than I like.)
But so, here’s the thing, and I’m not sure how bloggable this is, because I don’t want to embarrass too many philosophers in one day, or alienate real-life friends . . . I had a different philosopher tell me this, and I paraphrase: “I noticed sometimes you link to Brandon’s blog. He’s the smartest guy I know. He teaches at this community college, and he doesn’t publish except on his blog . . . and he’s the smartest philosopher out there.”
Book department update: I’m editing like a crazy person trying to make my book deadline AND be happy with the final product. Meanwhile, this morning at Mass the reading was about Peter walking on water, and not walking on water, and yeah, just what I needed. Pleasantly surprised later this afternoon when good things happened exactly where I was afraid everything was going to fall through.
(Um — even though it didn’t matter? I have special nervousness powers. But you know, the thought of trying something and failing? It’s daunting. It is.)
In defense of Peter: Neither chickens nor cats would’ve gotten out of the boat to begin with.
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And with that, I’m back to regular life. I’ll keep y’all in my prayers, and I’m trying to work through my blogging backlog in addition to doing all the other stuff I need to do, so look for me to pop in with this or that, time permitting. Have a great week!
(And yes, you can post links. I am, by the way, reading comments. Oh, about once a week, but I am. And trying to reply as well.)
Thanks once again to our host, Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who has not kicked me off his minion-list despite my poor attendance.
Click and be amazed.
1.
Please keep Sandra L. of this combox in your prayers today. She has a super-miserable tough day today, and it won’t be an easy week either.
2.
Please pray for the strength and consolation for a friend’s sister-in-law, who is very close to death, and for all her family. They’ve moved up a planned wedding of one of the children to this weekend, in the hopes the mom will be able to attend before she dies.
3.
<Insert your intention here.> I know there are plenty of other needs out there.
3.5
Still need prayers on the writing front. Whatever God wants is AOK with me. But knowing what that is and being sure it happens? Pray! Thank you.
***
And with that, I’m back to regular life. I’ll keep y’all in my prayers, and I’m trying to work through my blogging backlog in addition to doing all the other stuff I need to do, so look for me to pop in with this or that, time permitting. Have a great week!
(And yes, you can post links. I am, by the way, reading comments. Oh, about once a week, but I am. And trying to reply as well.)
Most weeks, I really like the Tuesday / Friday method of staying on track. It helps me remember to post stuff. This is not that week. I say that during the Wed-Thurs interregnum, Jen F. and Larry D. can split the difference. In castle news this week:
1. Child Vomits At Church.
Thank you Mrs. S. for cleaning the front pew while one parent whisked sick child home and the other disinfected the sacristy bathroom. Thank you, Lord, that:
The other two altar servers had already left the pew to go do whatever it is they do during the offering.
Mrs. S, veteran mom, had chosen to sit next to Mt. Splashmore.
Mr. O., who himself had blessed the altar-area in the same manner during his days as an altar boy, was sitting behind us and volunteered to watch two little girls while parents did more pressing parent jobs.
No one else has gotten sick.
Nice usher guy was helpful, too. He showed us the plastic toolbox in the usher’s closet labeled “Vomit Kit” — apparently this is all part of the life of an usher. Though by that time I’d already snagged disinfectant and paper towels from the kitchen, and begged extra trash bags from the nursery. Mothers don’t think the way ushers think.
2. Sandra’s Married!
And she told me I should wedding-blog. Which I will. A different day. Teaser:
Lovely, lovely ceremony.
Historic location + period dress = coolest combo ever.
Halloween-themed reception . . . oh I know you crabby apples are raising an eyebrow at that, ’cause I did too. But it was just perfect for the couple, and not at all like you think.
More later.
3. Exciting writing news, almost ready to be announced. If I seem like I’ve wandered off the edge of the earth, um, yes, I have.
3.5. McKissick Museum. For all your glow-in-the-dark geology needs.
4. Check out the Catholic Writers’ Guild blog this coming Sunday, Christian LeBlanc has a cool post scheduled. And Julie Davis writes on Saturday, I think, and she’s no slouch either. It’s a good CWG weekend.
5. Latin.I think we’ve found a solution. I’ll let you know in two months.
6. And with that, I’m going to sneak back into hiding, and leave the internet to you. If I’m lucky I might get a backlog of assorted posts run, but I’m not placing any bets. Have a great weekend.
I was recently talking to a mother of two SGA graduates. As her sons transitioned to college, she marveled at their development of character . . . Once, during his first home break from SGA, she asked her oldest son to help her with the laundry. Without any comment or complaint, her son proceeded to gather up the laundry in the house and clean his own room as well.
Inferior schools talk about college acceptance rates. Before you put down your tuition deposit, ask the questions that really count.
This week I learned that someone was in awe of me. I advised her to seek counseling.
Not actually. I did tell her she has a vivid imagination. That explanation makes it a reasonable mistake – imagine you knew me only on the internet, and furthermore had seen pictures of my home when it wasn’t that terribly terribly out of control — it could happen. You’d be deluded. But an honest mistake.
2.
I saw the most amazing floors this weekend. Clean. You’re chuckling now, thinking you’ve seen such a thing before. No. Quite possibly you have not. I hadn’t. These were VERY VERY clean floors. They shined. They were smooth underfoot. No tiny grains of sand (of course we removed our shoes at the door). No coarse edges. No lint. No crayons. Clean. And my daughter who babysits for this family reports these floors are always this clean. Always.
Now to my knowledge, this family has no cleaning help. They do have a new baby, a preschool boy of the usual energy level of preschool boys, and a homeschooled rising kindergartner. Yes, this family does crafts. Yes, this family eats dinner. Yes, the children are home all day. And no, the mom is not a powerhouse of non-stop energy. She is just a very, very, clean person.
This is what she loves. I think she spends as many minutes cleaning as I spend writing, and as many minutes decluttering as I spend reading, and those two facts explain her home, my home, and our respective literary outputs.
Other than that, we’re both normal people.
3.
Now if you have spent an evening in one of these homes, it is truly a marvel. It was relaxed and comfortable — the furniture was simple and unpretentious, the food was home-cooking, the children chased each other in loops through the kitchen, changed into 70 different dress-up outfits (actually just three, rotated), and there was the rhythmic thud of a boy jumping off his toddler slide onto a pile of cushions into what would have been the dining room, if these were the sort of people who were interested in impressing rather than welcoming.
Instead it was just luxurious. So clean. So peaceful (to someone used to preschoolers). Plus: Jello-Whip Cream Salad, green. And I did marvel. Wow. God made a person who loves cleaning this much. It is truly a work of art. A gift to the world, however small and humble.
But because I’ve known Mrs. E all these years, I wasn’t intimidated. She’s a normal person who happens to have this one gift.
So that was great, and now I remind myself when I’m intimidated by someone, that it’s because I’m only seeing some small side, and not the whole picture. And when I’m unimpressed by someone — same story. You know there’s another side that tells much more. Just have to dig for it.
3.5
Chickens. Just two. Strictly as pets.
Pets you can eat.
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Well that’s all for today. Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, help yourself if you are so inclined. Post as many as you want, but only one per comment or the spam dragon will eat you up and I’ll never even know. Have a great week!
Today I give you seven reasons parishes, schools, and families ought to consider making some specific rules to define modest dress.
1. Modest is not only about interior disposition. I refer you, for a start, to this excellent post by Rebecca Frech on how guys are different from girls. Can a guy work himself into a sweat just imagining things? Certainly. But that doesn’t change the reality that having a woman’s body in front of his eyes provokes a physiological response — the same way putting a plate of fresh-baked brownies in front of a girl makes her . . . well, you know. Put the brownies away. Away. Please. Now.
2. You have to get dressed. Everyday. Modesty is not some abstract principle debated by philosophers and mathemeticians. Girls have to choose what clothes to buy, and then which ones to wear in which combination. This is not some theoretical exercise, like wondering what you’ll do if a hurricane should hit your corner of North Dakota. Either the clothes you put on today are modest, or they are not. You have to know.
3. It’s not fair to leave girls with nothing but judgement calls, and no hope of getting it right. Yes, there are many, many classy outfits on the border between modest and not. At home with mom, or in the fitting room with a trusted friend, you can say, “Yeah, that skirt’s a smidge short, but it’s a heavy fabric that won’t fly away, and with opaque tights and a sweater, you’re okay.” Given how hard it is to find decent clothes on short notice and a tight budget, yes, this is sometimes the reality.
But what if you’re a teen who wants to get it right? Girls deserve reliable guidelines — a set of simple tactics for choosing an outfit that will work. It’s no fair to tell teens “cultivate a sense of modesty,” but refuse to tell them what they need to do in order to avoid being gossiped about prayed for by the ministry team. Modesty isn’t hard. 99% of the time, if you follow a few basic rules suitable to your time and place, you’re gonna be good.
4. Clear rules help you better judge the judgement calls. Fashion is weird and unpredictable. Pretend for a moment you have a rule along the lines of “skirt needs to touch the knees”. Just pretend with me, it won’t hurt. It’s only pretend.
Okay, so we’re pretending about our rule . . . and now we have a skirt with a slit up the side. Having already said, “Well, this much leg is okay, that much is too much,” we have a basis for deciding whether the slit is revealing or just convenient. How does it compare with other skirts we’ve decided are A-OK?
5. Clear rules end arguments. If you’re the youth minister charged with deciding whether an outfit meets spec, you don’t have to use your imagination. You can say, “Shoulders not covered. Go grab a t-shirt from the supply closet. Not my rule, parish policy.” End of argument.
At home, of course, you have to admit you’re the bad guy and just stick to your guns. And of course your daughter is going to try to negotiate all the stylish concessions she can. But at least she can shop knowing that no matter how obnoxiously tacky you think the new sequins-and-puff-balls day-glow-bubble-skirt style is, if it’s below the knee and not too tight, and she buys it with her own money, you have to let her wear it somewhere. Not necessarily anywhere you, your family, or your nationality are known. But somewhere.
6. Clear rules give girls something to stand on against their friends. It’s not easy to be that kid who doesn’t get to wear what everyone else is wearing. Yes, of course girls ought to have lots of guts and inner convictions, and be totally unafraid to stand up to their idiotic “friends” and get new ones if necessary. Yes, of course a girl should rather face death itself than ever utter a single word against her honorable, admirable, eminently reasonable parents. But seriously? Give the poor kid an easy out. “It’s the dress code for youth group events,” or “My parents have a rule against it.”
7. Clear rules sharpen the debate. So your right-wing fanatic friend (or pastor, or DRE) swears that exposed ankles are the first step on the way to Hell, and that many a collarbone had led a man to perdition. Putting together a tentative list of rules, and then opening it up to scrutiny, helps better answer the question. You can flip through photos from the parish picnic and say, “Look, Sister Immaculata is showing some calf and it’s okay. Let’s up our hemline rule a few inches, I think the guys can take it.”
You have to get dressed. Every day, every woman in the universe answers a question with her body: “I think this outfit is just fine.” Why not do it with the confidence? Make some rules. Ask for input. Try them out. Adjust as needed.
Thanks once again to our host Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who has earned your sympathy this week..
1.
People have stopped asking when we’ll be done with school. The answer is: Never.
At the beginning of the school year, it sounds great when you say, “We’ll take breaks during the year, but it means we’ll have to go longer into the summer. ” This is, after all, one of our big reasons for homeschooling. The weather is better September through May. But come mid-May, even people in my own home start saying, “We’re almost finished with school for the year, right?”
No. We are not.
Calendar says we’ll finish at the end of June, giving us six weeks break before starting back, which is all I could stand anyway. At the beginning of Q4 I gave two big kids a checklist of everything they needed to finish, and specified that although they had to do Math and Grammar every day, they could do the other subjects in whatever order they liked, but they were chained to the desk until everything was done.
This did not cause fairies to come replace my children with super-diligent, homework-completing robots.
2.
So I predict we’ll be done with almost everything by early July, and certain sore topics by . . . much later. SOME children might be sitting NEXT TO the pool doing homework, while other children swim IN the pool. I’m not shouting. I am not shouting. I. AM. NOT. SHOUTING.
Totally happy homeschool mom here. Oh yes. No irony whatsoever when my 10-year-old armchair physician says, “I think we all have ADD.”
Yeah. Just maybe.
But it really is easier to do school after all the school-year activities have ended. Much easier.
3.
Why is it I do all my school planning on a day after a very productive school day? Causing me to write up plans I know will overwhelm us. It’s like packing. I should put everything in the box, leave it for a week, and then come back and take out half.
3.5
Speaking of ADD . . . we’re getting a new species of pets. Come mid-July, we’ll have to have built housing for . . .
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Well that’s all for today. I’m having one of those, “Is it really Tuesday? ^&*%$” days. Return to substantial topics coming . . . oh I don’t know when.
Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, shouting and fake curse words not necessary. Help yourself if you are so inclined. Post as many as you want, but only one per comment or the spam dragon will eat you up and I’ll never even know. Have a great week!
Homeschool Planning: You Can’t Do Everything in which I talk about the trade-offs my family makes in order to bring our curricular fantasies down to earth, and put together a homeschool curriculum we can actually sort of accomplish, more or less. Also in which we discover I’m much better about wanting to study Latin than about actually studying it.
UPDATE: In the combox, Larry L. explains the mysteries of military rules that civilians tend to miss. This story explains it well:
Reference on uniforms and the idea of changing clothes…. True story and a friendlier than most of my military stories…. During lunch I run down to the bank to deposit some cash(in uniform). I get stopped walking into the bank.(navy federal) and get told I am not allowed to go into a civilian location in working uniform. I go back to my ship and no kidding…. you are not allowed to wear your working uniform anywhere but to military locations. If stopping to get a soda at the local 7-11 you can’t do it in “working” uniform. “Dress” uniform perfectly allowed though.
Thanks, Larry L. Makes perfect sense. In that special military way.
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Original Post:
Since I was so pointed in my criticism of Time Magazine’s pornesque breastfeeding cover photo, I wanted to observe that this photo that showed up in Yahoo news this morning is just a plain old breastfeeding photo, nothing to get freaked out about. The mom with twins is not so discreet, which I don’t care for. I wouldn’t stick it on a billboard, any more than I’d post a mom doing wholesome mom things but wearing a dress or swim suit with similar amounts of cleavage showing.
(I would put that picture in a brochure for new mothers, which would be an appropriate place for a little technical instruction. I’ve noticed in the past that sometimes formula companies will issue “breastfeeding guides” in which the explanations and images of breastfeeding positions are so uncomfortable and impractical that if you tried them, you’d be sure to give up and switch to formula.)
–> Even for nursing in public, I am far more inclined to give a pass to the breastfeeding mom-o-twins than any of the other 10,000 utterly avoidable situations where women not feeding children decide to create a temptation for hungry babies everywhere. On that day when every other woman in the US manages to cover it up? We can have a talk with the moms of multiples about whether there’s a more discrete way to do the one thing those breasts were actually made to do.
Bad journalism in an effort to stir up controversy:
“Also forbidden while in uniform: eating, drinking, . . .”
Er . . . no. I imagine they meant to say something that was true. But they didn’t. Maybe, if I read the whole sentence and guess about how it’s punctuated, what they mean is “eating while walking” and “drinking while walking”. Maybe?
Anyhow, I’m not military and so my thoughts on what soldiers do in uniform counts for very little, except that sheesh, yes, mothers need to feed their children. If you’re going to have soldiers who are mothers of babies and toddlers, this is all part of the package.
Breastfeeding your baby is not some optional thing that ought to be saved for leisure hours. It’s the normal way of feeding a baby. It’s wonderful that safe, healthy alternatives exist for moms who can’t do it the usual way. But it would be mighty bizarre to insist that every mother do the artificial work-around to solve a non-existent problem, just because someone’s got it in their head that normal isn’t normal.
