1.
I would like you to know that there are many, many reasons you should be grateful I gave up complaining. Of course I cannot tell you what they are. Just enjoy the peace and quiet for a change.
2.
Don’t panic, the reasons are all very petty. If I had something big to complain about, I’d cleverly disguise it as a “prayer request” or something.
3.
Dear Self,
Compulsively surfing the internet does not count as “praying”. Even if you do read highly edifying Catholic blogs. Even if you do toss out Hail Mary’s here and there for good causes. Please get your act together. Right now.
Sincerely,
The Person Who is Dragging You To Confession Tomorrow, Do Not Even Try One of Your Excuses to Get Out of It.
4.
Am I the only person whose spouse is obsessed with filling the freezer with venison this year?
If your sensibilities are easily offended, skip #5.
5.
PSA: How to Have Almost Free Meat
1. Do not take up hunting. Hunting saves no money. Ever. It is a giant financial black hole.
2. Instead, cultivate a general interest in hunting. An ability to make hunting talk.
3. The people who just like to shoot things will eventually come out of the woodwork. Oh, yes, you’d be surprised.
4. Get yourself a good sharp knife, a pile of freezer paper, and this book:
5. Also, sturdy rubber gloves. You don’t want mad deer disease.
6. Tell your crazy hunting friends to shoot all the big furry animals they like. And then to drop the carcass off at your place. Immediately. None of this ridiculous “aging” business. Gross.
7. Quit being so squeamish. Tofu is over-rated.
8. Sanitize, sanitize, sanitize.
9. Long slow moist heat solves all cooking problems.
10. Eat.
6.
Don’t forget to pray for Allie Hathaway.
7.
We label all our venison with the date it was wrapped, name of the hunter, a note about what animal it is, and the cut of meat. So you might see a package that says something like, “Eddie – Buck – 10/2011 – Shank”.
Which is all very well until we have to explain why there are packages in our freezer saying, “John Doe Shoulder 12/2011.”
“The Person Who is Dragging You To Confession Tomorrow,” LOL!!
I know. I need someone to keep me honest. I figure if I tell the whole internet, I won’t try to get out of it.
“Tell your crazy hunting friends to shoot all the big furry animals they like. And then to drop the carcass off at your place.”
I was doing this just last night with the father of my daughter in law. He hunts in Laurens County.
Nice.
The line from _The Joy_ describes venison as, “a gift of joy to some, a matter of secret interment to others”. The breakthrough was in realizing that hunters who might not spend the $ or time to process it themselves are perfectly happy to deliver the animal and let you take it from there. Our neighbor claims the backstraps and then gives us the quarters, that’s probably the best deal going.
I know very few hunters, can’t speak hunting, but DH and I enjoyed the list very much. 🙂
A little peek into how the other half lives. Or the other 7% or whatever it works out to. I bet you sometimes have democrats on your ballot, don’t you?
(Our county keeps the “D” space available, because that’s simpler than writing “The Other Republican”. Still, it’s a cool year when we have more than one candidate running.)
LOL!
What about saying to yourself, “Don’t do that unless you want to go to confession.”
~Hilda
Yeah, you’d think that would be a motivator. I’m afraid what happens instead is I think, “Well, I’m going to have to give this up come Saturday afternoon, what’s two more days . . .”
OTOH, you won’t meet many people who get the whole “God’s Mercy” thing better than me. I mean, wow, I even stink at repentance. My hour-by-hour acts of contrition are things like, “I’m sorry Lord that I’m not doing very good at showing I’m sorry for this . . .”
“Don’t do that unless you want to go to confession.”
Unfortunately that’s a major motivator for me, and I admit as much in the confessional.
I wish I had that much ability to think about future consequences.