7 Takes: Sinner’s Guide to NFP Giveaway Day

1.  If you didn’t come here from there already, go visit our hostess.  She’s got an especially entertaining set of takes up, including a bit of other interesting bookishness, Tom Clancy edition.

2.  Of course you want this book:

The Sinner's Guide to Natural Famiily Planning by Simcha Fisher

That is why you’re here today, right?  Excellent.

3.  I read this book.  This is how I know you want it. Or, if you answered #2 incorrectly, you would want it if only you were in your right mind this morning.

3.5: What if you already have a copy?!  And now it’s too late to win one!  You’re allowed to enter and win for a friend instead.  See?  Thanksgiving present.  Perfect.

3.75: As I told you last week, it’s AOK to enter this contest, win the book, and never come back to this blog again.  I so don’t care and am not keeping track.

4.  Here’s the scoop on the book, and why you need to reform your ways if you didn’t answer #2, 3, 3.5, or 3.75 correctly:

(A) You know how you hate NFP?  You use it and all, or you would, but it’s maybe not the rapturous experience that you always dreamt of, when you first read the words “cervical mucus”?  This book is about that.  NFP Frustration.

(B) The book doesn’t talk about cervical mucus.  It doesn’t have 10 Ways to Get a Better Temp Rise, Faster! Now! A Full 4/10ths of a Degree or Your Money Back!!

Most books are better if they don’t include that.  –> Except if you’re trying to learn NFP.  In which case the amusing way in which this contest is being run will help you with that.

(C) Every stupid thing about NFP ever. said. by some idiot who clearly has a Josephite marriage and prefers it that way (did Joseph?  I’m skeptical.), REFUTED!  Blammo!  In YOUR PLACE crazy people.  Done.

(D) Except charitably.

(E) Downright Theology of the Body, if you must know.  Only, it’s not, “I drank the TOTB water, and now I drool unicorns and rainbows.”  It’s more like: “Hey!  TOTB Water!  You can brew beer with that!”

(F) It’s a short book.

(G) There were points where I did not laugh out loud.  I laughed so hard sound would not come out of my body.  I would have rolled on the floor laughing, except that I was laughing too hard to fall out of my chair.  I’m sure it was weird looking.  There are certain chapters you might not want to read in public.

(H) We aren’t doing the whole alphabet.

(I) But I thought up another thing: This book is the perfect marriage book.  So if you know somebody who’s married, or who is thinking of getting married, this would be a great gift.  I’ve been married 47.5% of my life.  I know what it takes.  Simcha’s nailed it.  On the head.

(J) It’s pronounced “Sim-ka”.  Like the “ch” sound in “School”.  Because Simka’s so chool.

(K) Yeah, I was saying it wrong too.

(L) I didn’t ask how to pronounce “Fisher”.  We’re all just winging it on that one.

5.  How to Enter the Contest

[UPDATE: I made an easier entry method over at AmazingCatechists.com.  Go there for the simple name-and-a-comment version.  You can also make it your 4th entry, if you’ve done all three here.  Now back to how it works here . . .]

The giveaway takes place 100% 98% in my combox.  I just cleaned out my spambox, but you’ll be more likely not to end up permanently moderated if you don’t choose a name like, “Free Nike’s Cheap” or “Real Louis Vuitton.”  If your name is also the name of a famous piece of merchandise, or includes a grocer’s apostrophe, you might wish to use an alias for this one.

To enter the contest, leave a comment here in this post.  Not a different post.  This post.  Give yourself a username (it can be anything, but if you win, Simcha’s going to call you that name), and leave an e-mail address in the field that asks for it, which only I the moderator can see, a nobody else. If you like, go get yourself a free e-mail account solely for this contest, if that’s the way you roll.  You don’t need to fill out the “website” field, though if your entry is especially amusing, people might want to know about you.

You get up to three entries within your comment.

Entry #1: Say something nice to Simcha!  Examples of winning entries:

“Hi, Simcha!”

“Thanks for writing this book!”

“Your kids are cute!”

“I’m not stalking you, Simcha, I just want a free book, that’s all!”

Entry #2: There’s nothing in Simcha’s book about how to actually use NFP.  So tell us where you learned NFP, or give us a link to a useful website you like, or something else that will help the puzzled people who have no idea why 4/10ths of a degree is so, so, important.

#2: Alternative: If you have no clue about those 4/10ths, you can say that.  You could also say something like, “I don’t know why cervical mucus is such a big deal,” or “I wish I could be as cool as you NFP-using ladies, but instead I answered the call to holy orders, but I need this book for my couple that does marriage prep, and the finance council won’t give me $4.99.”  Or whatever.

Entry #3: NFP.  Discuss.

#3 Alternative: Tell us a good joke.  Something clean, or I’ll have to edit it.

6.  You don’t have to do all three entries.  But you increase your odds of winning if you do.

7.  The drawing will be done using accounting methods, not literary ones.  You don’t have to be clever to win, you just have to vaguely sort of follow instructions.

The contest closes at Midnight on Monday, November 4th.  By “Midnight”, what we mean is sometime after midnight in NYC, and probably no sooner than about 4 – 5 AM Tuesday, later if we’re lucky.  By “Tuesday”, what we mean is, “A day that comes after Monday, and it might even really be Tuesday.”

If you are the winner, I will announce your username from the combox on this blog so that everyone knows, sort of, who won.  I will also e-mail you using the address you gave me.  If it becomes apparent that you expired from the shock and pleasure of it all, we’ll pick a new winner.

–> Simcha will then send you your copy of the book in the digital format of your choice, from her collection of possible digital formats.  She’s really nice about helping technically-challenged people figure out how to open their book.  I tested her on this to make sure.

Enter now!

Sinner’s Guide cover art courtesy of Amazon.com.

16 thoughts on “7 Takes: Sinner’s Guide to NFP Giveaway Day

  1. 1. Hi Simcha! I *am* really stalking you, but don’t worry, I’m not good at the internet.
    2. I learned NFP from TCOYF, the NFP board, later a CrM instructor, and now from the Marquette boards. We’ve used a few methods.
    3. A joke, huh? Here’s one I hate, but I’m not good at jokes: What do you call NFP users? Parents!!! Did that get me disqualified?
    Ok, here’s another: What made the fire-and-brimstone preacher laugh? MASS hysteria!

  2. Ok, let’s give this a go. 🙂

    1. HI SIMCHA!!! *waves madly* I’m not a stalker, ‘cuz you’re on my FB friends list. Which means we’re friends, right? RIGHT? Ummm…Well, anyway, your sister Devra likes me, so that means I’m almost kind of sorta like a family friend. So, HI! I’m excited about your book, though I’m still trying to score a free copy rather than buy one. 😉

    2. I formally learned NFP from CCL in my early 20s, but really I kinda absorbed a lot from my parents, who have been volunteering with SERENA (a Canadian sympto-thermal method) my entire life. Once, my mother offered to dig up and show me the chart from the month I was conceived. I politely declined (I may have broken out into hysterical nervous laughter, actually).

    3. I’m not actively using NFP right now (husband not even in the same time zone) but I still chart. Charting apps (I use OvuView) are the best thing EVER for flaky people like me. My phone dings to remind me to take and enter my temp in the morning, dings to remind me to record my observations in the evening, dings to warn me phase one is ending, dings to warn me my period should start in the next couple days…I may never use paper charts again!

  3. #1 Hi Simcha! (Yes, I’ve been saying your name wrong in my head for years too. Good to know the right way to say it. And if you can figure out a wrong way to say “Angela,” you’re welcome to do so to make up for it.) I totally deserve to win a copy of your book because I already reviewed it, unread, on my Facebook page. Because I know you’re just that good! I’d really like to read it so next time I review it, I’ll know what I’m talking about.
    #2 I taught myself NFP with Taking Charge of Your Fertility, then took a class with The Art of Natural Family Planning. I was going to become an instructor, but had a baby, got busy, and never finished the instructor class. Oops.
    #3 I don’t know about a good joke, but I’ll tell you one my son made up when he was two. We were very impressed because it was the first joke he made up that made any sense! Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. Cue much hysterical laughter from said two year old. I used to make him tell me the joke just to hear him laugh.

  4. #1: Hi, Simcha! I remember you from the NFP board, but I’m sure you don’t remember me. In fact, I kind of hope you don’t.

    #2: I learned charting by reading the instruction manual that came with my mercury basal thermometer back in 1989. Three years later I took an actual CCL NFP course when I was going to get married.

    #3: And a clean joke: Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick!

  5. “I’m not stalking you, Simcha, I just want a free book, that’s all!” Seriously, I do! I haven’t paid more than a buck for an ebook yet, and with my budget I really shouldn’t . . .even though this would be a great cause! I really am curious to read this book though.

    We learned NFP as part of our pre-Cana requirements.

    I wish I had a good joke or something . . . I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant. My three year old asked me this morning if I ate the baby. Surprised (and not seeing where this was going) I said no. Her response? Well, then how did the baby get into your tummy?

  6. Entry #1: If I had to pick one thing to keep on the Internet and give up the rest forever, Simcha’s writing is what I’d keep.
    Entry #2: We learned CCL’s method first which fits my semi-crunchy self quite well, but then we had fertility troubles and had to switch to Creighton model. I highly recommend the latter for anyone with issues, but I’m not fond of their hyper-medical approach, so it’s not really my first choice.
    Entry #3: Um, is it an NFP joke to recount that when my archdiocese was asking the NFP committee for ideas to support current NFP users with social nights or something, my husband suggested they advertise with the slogan “Stretchy and clear? Come have a beer!”

  7. Entry 2: The board, of course! Although I was making a terrible attempt at NFP before my first child. I’m not even sure where I read about it, but the description was all of two sentences. Thus, the first child. (Who was not a surprise! NOOooooo….)
    However, my copy of CCI’s book came from my husband’s boss who is rather Baptist-leaning. The last laugh is on them, though- they’re homeschoolers, now!

  8. Entry 3:
    Without NFP, I would have used about 150 less HCG sticks over the last eight years. Is that a pro or con?
    But also without NFP, I wouldn’t have so many awesome friends. Because, let me tell you, once you’ve gotten comfortable enough with a person to discuss mucus, you’re kinda friends for life.

  9. I’m so grateful for this post because
    1. I need some humor to spice up the dreaded NFP
    2. A free opportunity! YO free competitions are my sinful indulgences.
    3. I’ve been mispronouncing Simcha’s name so it’s nice to be set straight. HOWDY Simcha! I’m a fan!
    4. Pick me!

  10. I learned the Creighton Model as part of marriage prep. So although I use NFP, I’m one of those who have no idea why 4/10ths of a degree is so, so, important. I could tell you a lot about mucus though. 🙂

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