Category: Catholic Families

3.5 Time Outs: Thinking Catholic

Thanks once again to our host, Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who won’t mind if I’m slow on registering with Mr. Linky due to my temporary change in vices while I’m out here in the desert.  Right Larry?  Maybe?

Click and be amazed.

1.

This afternoon at lunch Dad saw me coveting the editorial page of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, and quick shoved a library book in my hands before a fight broke out:

What the monks already told you. Explained.

I’ve read as far as Chapter 4, and Kahneman has explained several of his and his colleague’s discoveries about human thinking and behavior that are, reportedly, surprising.  I’d read a few of them elsewhere, so I wasn’t surprised when he introduced me to them.  What surprised me was this: It’s all straight from the playbook of any Catholic priest worth his salt.  Practical Tips for Advising the Penitent 101.

2.

Here are some samples.

Revolutionary Scientific Discovery: People can be primed to think and behave a certain way.  For example, seeing images or hearing words related to a particular theme (money, old age, happiness) causes people to embody habits and values related to that theme, without even realizing it.

What Your Priest Told You: Read your Bible, watch EWTN now and again, and throw away that trashy magazine.  We are influenced by what we see and do, so pick your influences wisely.

Revolutionary Scientific Discovery: Willpower takes effort.  It’s hard to resist temptation when you are exhausted from another task.

What Your Priest Told You: Take care of yourself, get a good night’s sleep, and don’t surround yourself with temptations.

Revolutionary Scientific Discovery: You can only concentrate on one task at a time.

What Your Priest Told You: Fill your time with wholesome activities so you aren’t so tempted by sinful ones.  If you feel tempted laying there in bed, get up and go do something else.

There’s more just in the first four chapters, but that’s a start.  Great book so far, I’m going to try to find a copy when I get home.  For those of you who don’t want to read 481 pages of summaries of scientific research, just go talk to your priest.  He already knows what it says.

3.

I have really enjoyed wandering around the World Series of Poker.

Yes, that surprised me too.

3.5

. . . paper towels.  They are our new controlled substance.  I have to keep them hidden away in our bedroom, thus harnessing the power of sloth to defeat the temptation to extravagance.  Otherwise we’d go through a roll a day, easy.  Even though we have a basket of perfectly good dish towels right on the counter.  Which each get used once before being tossed in the dirty laundry by certain people I live with . . . I’d lock them* in the bedroom, too, but I can’t tolerate that much sogginess.

***

Well that’s all for today.  Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, help yourself if you are so inclined.  I’m still out of town so comment moderation is slow, but as long as you limit yourself to one link per comment you’ll escape the spam dragon and your brilliance will eventually see light of day.  Have a great week!

 

*The towels, not the children.  There is no way I’d store my children in my bedroom.  They’d use up all the paper towels.

3.5 Time Outs: The Vice Chest

Thanks once again to our host, Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who likes lawn tools.  I think he’s serious about that.

Click and be amazed.

1.

Vice is on my mind this week, as I head out to Las Vegas to drink mudslides go on a very spiritual retreat with a group of NFP-lovin’using, mostly-Catholic ladies (and a few spouses).  I’m also going to spend a few days with my dad and stepmom*, and have lunch with one of my favorite Orcas Island Fire & Rescue diesel-genius people.

SuperHusband is staying home to suffer mind the children.  He’s going to pawn part of that job off on our unsuspecting friends.

2.

So, vices.  We inherited one of these:

But we didn’t really need an ice box, what with already owning a big white electric-powered refrigerator.  Also, the ice wagon hasn’t come to our block in ages.  So we store other things in it.

3.

Which is how we started calling it the “Vice Chest”.  Because at first we stored our liquor in it.

Then we had a child, and needed to store the liquor up high out of reach, and my brother gave us a television.  And after a few years of owning a TV, it occurred to us that the magic box was not strictly limited to playing home videos (original purpose) or Raffi (new best friend).  Rather than sitting home bored out of our minds because you really can’t take a toddler and a newborn to the symphony or the jazz club or art house cinema, and you really can’t do a whole lot else useful with a baby, toddler, and one on the way making you puke all hours . . .  we could acquire a DVD player, and watch something other than hand-me-down Raffi videos.

And that buying a DVD — even at full retail — was cheaper than hiring a babysitter.

So the Vice Chest went from storing liquor to storing DVD’s.  The name still fit.

3.5

And then I rearranged a year or so ago, and the Vice Chest moved to our bedroom, and all it held was old extension cords behind the top left door, and the poor piece of furniture was moping for lack of a mission.  Until this spring I discovered the new controlled substance in our home, and now it holds

***

Well that’s all for today.  Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, help yourself if you are so inclined.   Post as many as you want, but only one per comment or the spam dragon will eat you up and I’ll never even know.  Have a great week!

 

*Not as much my stepmom this round, because she has a sideline gig** cashiering at the World Series of Poker.  My dad says it sounds like crickets in there.  Literally.  Silence and the squeak of chips.

**Technically her profession is running medical laboratories.  And then for fun in the winter she works for H&R block doing taxes.  We could basically say she is an exceedingly resourceful and hard-working fun hog.

Theology of the Body Conference, Simpsonville, SC July 6th & 7th

Why is Church teaching worth standing up for?  I’d be remiss if  I didn’t tell you about the Theology of the Body Conference in upstate SC this summer – July 6th & 7th.  I won’t make it out this year — I’ll be home attending a wedding, yay! — but I was able to go to Family Honor’s TOTB conference in 2002, and it was top notch.  Speakers this year include Janet Smith & Ray Guarendi . . . you can’t go far wrong with talent like that.  Check it out.

Hey and if you ever wondered where my header and sidebar photos came from . . . yeah, upstate SC has a few little secrets in those mountains.  Good place.

3.5 Time Outs: Teen Boy Chastity Bleg, Part 2

Thanks once again to our host Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, this bringing old meaning to Man, you’re sick.

Dozens of takes, 3.5 at a time.

1.

The reason I’m asking internet strangers, instead of my dearly beloved, for advice on teen boy chastity, is this:  The SuperHusband has ample experience with “Teen Boy”, but neither he nor I had much exposure to the whole “Chastity” thing until well after our teen years.  So while we can tell you all about the Marriage-NFP Experience, if we were to draw on our own high school experiences for guidance on how to parent our boy, well, that would not be the most successful method.

And since this is the AoA 3.5 Takes, the Man Event to exceed all Man Events, I’m going to keep on asking.

2.

Here’s the round-up of answers so far:

Darwin wrote from his own experience: Avoid Porn, Develop Aesthetics.  That was very encouraging — we have both the porn-free household and the collection of art books (really just two or three, but it’s a start).  And I never would have considered the topic this way.  I’m really glad I asked!

Christian LeBlanc (this one) writes:

I’d tell my boys that all the trash you see on the net or movies or mags has nothing to do with real men, real woman, and real sex. It’s just a way to get money out of morons. In fact it’s the opposite of those real things, and only idiots waste time on it and screw up any chance of meeting and loving a real woman like my wife, who as my children know is The Most Glorious and Beautiful Woman God Ever Created.

August from Contra Niche say:

If you teach young men to value their first born, they will get in the habit of thinking about whether or not they’d want whoever it is they are looking at (and attracted to) to be their kids mom. It is very effective, especially if you imagine a smart little five year old berating you for your lack of foresight.

Valuable reminders, and it is so helpful to hear this from a man’s perspective.  Larry D.  assures me he has a post in the works (give him time, he’s got the plague), and I’m looking forward to that.

3.

So here’s a two-part question I still need you guys to answer for me:

  • How should a boy deal with the, shall we say, overwhelming physical urges, that are known to afflict young men?
  • And how does a mother, or father, provide these bits of practical advice without making the boy die from embarrassment?

The going advice in popular culture is not so helpful, since it tends to run exactly counter to CCC 2352 and 2396.

So guys, you know how ladies fill magazines with practical tips on cutting calories and avoiding over-eating at holiday parties?  We need the pocket guide to keeping it in the pocket.  I’m going to temporarily open this blog up to anonymous comments, and as long as they are Catholic* and on-topic, I’ll let them through the moderation queue.   What works?

Please tell.

3.5

 . . . Anna knew right away: Slugs.  If you ever need a cheap date, invite a slug.

Well that’s all for today.  Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, not just chastity and garden pests.  Help yourself if you are so inclined.   Post as many as you want, but only one per comment or the spam dragon will eat you up and I’ll never even know**.

*By “Catholic” I mean “all that is true and good”.  Your own faith or lack thereof is not the question.  A commitment to purity suffices.

** If your perfectly good comment gets stuck in spam, please TELL ME.  My e-mail in the sidebar works.  I get too much spam to check the spam folder post by post, but I will happily go fish out your misfiled comment if you let me know it’s in there.

 

QUICK UPDATE: I’ve turned off the anonymous comment feature (6/7/2012).  Amazing how much spam this one post generated — apparently hit all the right keywords.  I don’t *think* any honest humans were caught in spam (yes, I read it all), but you are always welcome to e-mail me if your comment gets eaten by the spam dragon, and I’ll rescue you.  Thank you to everyone who answered, here or elsewhere.  I’ll do a round-up post soon.

3.5 Time Outs: Assorted Measures

Thanks once again to our host Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who’s got all your Apocalypse needs covered.  Especially Robot Apocalypse.

Click and be amazed.

1.

Yesterday was our 17th Anniversary.  We had dinner on the screen porch — steak, tater tots, spinach, cantaloupe, champagne.  Even the kids were full before dessert.  I can’t remember when it started, but we’ve taken to having a family dinner for our anniversary, and pointing out to the kids that it marks the founding of our family.  Which makes it their holiday, too.  After the kids went to bed, parents finished the champagne and got into the cheesecake.

2.

Best Water Meter Ever. It takes several layers of those cheap all-paper plates from Aldi if you’re serving steak.  Why paper?  Because the septic system is old enough to run for president, which in septic-years is much more than a little stately silver around the ears.  We’re avoiding all excess water usage until we can get a new drain field cut in sometime next week.  And so the SuperHusband installed one of these on the back patio:

It’s connected to the hose for a water-supply, and underneath, instead of drainpipe there’s a one-gallon bucket.  It’s fascinating seeing exactly how much water you use to wash hands or brush teeth.  Major incentive to conserve water so you don’t have to keep hauling the bucket off to some suitable corner of lawn.  Can I count this as school?

3.

Bleg: Boys, Porn, and Chastity. Had a friend in for tea Sunday afternoon, and she gave me a timely head’s up on the reality of tweenage boys and the very rapid transition into Exceedingly Immature Manhood that is somewhere on the horizon for our boy.  (Right now, the only girl he likes is the dog.)  Since I know that at least a few of my readers are:

  1. Men.
  2. Fathers of teens boys and former teen boys.
  3. Catholic of the Chastity is Good, Sin is Bad type.
  4. Remember what it was like to live inside the body of a teenage boy.

or:

  1. Are married to such a person.

or:

  1. Are the grown son of such a person.

Want to offer any advice?  Practical.  Links, comments, a post of your own and link it back here.  I’m all ears.  Anything helpful.  Thanks!

3.5

On Saturday I bought an 18-pack of Busch Light.  I tasted some, warm.  It’s kind of sweet — sort of a malty fruity seltzer product.  Interesting.  But it’s not for me.  It’s for

***

Well that’s all for today.  Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, not just beer, chastity, and laundry tubs.  Help yourself if you are so inclined.   Post as many as you want, but only one per comment or the spam dragon will eat you up and I’ll never even know.

7 Quick Takes: Mother’s Day. Liquor Store Edition.

1.

In my family growing up we had a set of Mother’s Day rituals — taking Mom out to breakfast, going to the garden center to buy flowers to plant for her, sometimes even exchanging of gifts and cards.  When the Boy was born, I expected SuperHusband to just know what to do.  After all, my family’s traditions were hardly secret — you see that kind of stuff on TV.  I assumed everyone just knew.

Except that he didn’t.  Tears ensued.  Until I discovered one year that actually, there is a much, much better way:

2.

Making my own breakfast.  Why not have a day a year devoted to eating exactly what I want, prepared the way I like it, and you other people please just stay in bed and give the mother an hour of quiet to enjoy it?  It really is better.

3.

But I did tell the poor man what I wanted this year:  For him to please get repaired the watch he gave me a different year.  It needs a new battery and a new clasp, and yes I could take it to be repaired myself, but you know, he’s a mechanical engineer.  What a great way to show his love, driving to the store himself to oversee the repair of a tiny metal mechanical device?

Luckily there’s no deadline, except that I’d really love for it to be fixed by the end of August, when I go to the Catholic Blogger Foretaste of Heaven Conference.  Where our lovely 7-takes hostess will be speaking, no less.  I am wildly excited.

4.

Last year for Mother’s day, SuperHusband gave me a reprint of this book:


Which taught me how to make my own vinegar.  Seriously easy and you feel so crunchy-granola, and also it uses up wine ends.  And it is better than anything you can buy.

Small hitch: The cloth-covered Famous Grouse bottle serving as miniature vinegar barrel reminded the SuperHusband he wanted to resume homebrewing.  He’d been on a long toddler-rearing hiatus.  So he did.  Causing us to stop buying wine.  But I did the calculation, and it is cheaper to buy a bottle of Aldi wine and make vinegar out of it, than it is to buy Publix-brand red wine vinegar.  So that’s what I do.

5.

Speaking of famous grice: The SuperHusband was in the doghouse the other week, and to demonstrate the sincerity of his love, he came home with a bottle of Laphroaig for me.  Which was a tiny bit strange, because I had not been grousing about a lack of single-malt.  And the stuff is expensive.  But in a moment of virtually Therese-like holiness, I figured: Hey, this is good!  Might as well enjoy it!

He really does love me, you know.

6.

A prayer for Allie Hathaway is prayer for her mom, too.  You can’t go wrong.

7.

The American Frugal Housewife was not the first historic housekeeping title on my shelves.  The previous Christmas the SuperMother-In-Law, who knows me well, gave me this one:

Mrs. Beeton’s is much heftier than the Frugal Housewife, and addressed more towards homes with servants, and our servants are mostly the electric type anymore.  But I came across this eminently reassuring and useful* bit of advice about the rigors of breastfeeding and the avoidance of colic:

The nine or twelve months a woman usually suckles must be, to some extent, to most mothers, a period of privation and penance, and unless she is deaf to the cries of her baby, and insensible to its kicks and plunges, and will not see in such muscular evidences the griping pains that rack her child, she will avoid every article that can remotely affect the little being who draws its sustenance from her.  She will see that the babe is acutely affected by all that in any way influences her, and willingly curtail her own enjoyments, rather than see her infant rendered feverish, irritable, and uncomfortable.  As the best tonic, then, and the most efficacious indirect stimulant that a mother can take at such times, there is no potation equal to porter and stout, or what is better still, and equal part of porter and stout.

And with that, I bid you a Happy Mother’s Day.

*Do not use this advice. Or if you do and then need sue someone, sue Mrs. Beeton.  Her idea not mine.

Book Review for Saint Gianna Beretta Molla: The Gift of Life

Saint Gianna Beretta Molla: The Gift of Life is my latest review book for the Catholic Company, and they are in luck once again, because it’s a great book!

I knew the gist of St. Gianna’s life, but this was the first detailed biography I’d read, and I think it’s an excellent introduction to the saint.  It’s a compact, readable biography that starts with the marriage of Gianna’s parents in 1908.  Through the lens of family life, we see St. Gianna working to discern her vocation and make the most of the struggles she faces throughout her life, as well as the tremendous joy she found in marriage, motherhood, and her work as a physician.

Reading Level:  Upper elementary and up.  My fourth grader (average reader, Catholic girl — which makes a difference, see below) read it in one afternoon.

Why this is a great book for Moms:  I know that technically it’s a children’s book.  But when you have small children, you really need something that can read in five-minute snatches (with interruptions every other paragraph) and still hope to reach the end of the book before you forget the beginning.  And this a book not only about a mom, but with some encouraging details for normal moms. Just look at these saintly facts:

  • St. Gianna, working mother?  Once her first baby was born, she had not just her own sister as a full-time nanny, but a housekeeper too.   Did you get that?  Not a super-person.
  • She takes her two pre-schoolers to Mass and the baby stays home.  She was a saint.  And she left her baby at home.
  • Her preschool boy lasted all of five minutes at Mass, per her account.

See?  You need to read this.  Saintly living for normal people.

Why this is a great book for pre-teens and teens:  There is a very strong emphasis on vocation.  Even though it was easy enough for my fourth grader to read, it would be perfect for about a twelve- or thirteen-year-old.  Super book-club or youth group discussion choice, if you have a group of teen girls who get together to talk about Catholic stuff.

Sanity via history through biography:  As a teenager, St. Gianna’s parents pulled her out of school for a year so she could rest and regain her health.  They felt the vigor with which St. Gianna was pursuing her studies was wearing her out, and she needed the break.  This is a teen who eventually went on to earn her M.D.   If an American parent did this today, in many cases there would be significant legal and financial penalties for both parent and child.   For this one anecdote alone, I’d recommend this book.   You can’t think clearly about public policy if you are utterly wrapped up in the quirks of your own time and place.

 

Cautions for the would-be reader:

1. It helps to have a general background in Catholic culture before starting the book.  There is a very helpful glossary at the back of the book, for those of us who never can remember what it is that makes a basilica a basilica.  But for teaching this book to a mixed group of students with varying amounts of Catholic up-bringing, I would plan to go over the vocabulary and cultural notes for the next week’s class session before students did the reading.

2. There is a clear and straightforward explanation of the moral choices St. Gianna faced when she was diagnosed with a tumor during her last pregnancy — another reason this is a great book for adults.  But it would be helpful for students to have a knowledgeable teacher to explain some of the basic moral principles that come into play.   St. Gianna’s death is also a good illustration of ways Catholics can choose to handle end-of-life situations.

 

Conclusion: This one isn’t leaving my shelf.  Recommended if you want an enjoyable, readable introduction to St. Gianna’s life, encouragement in your vocation and efforts at holiness, and a real-life example of moral choices in medical ethics and end-of-life issues.

***

Thanks again to the Catholic Company for their on-going efforts to keep bloggers from ever getting bored.  I received this book in exchange for an honest review, and it’s not my fault I picked a book I happened to like (okay it is — but I didn’t know it would be this good in these ways).  In addition to their work of mercy instructing the ignorant, The Catholic Company would like me to remind you they are also a great source for a baptism gifts or first communion gifts.

A day for all the best gifts.

The Bun, #3, comes home from First Holy Communion, sits on the couch, and unwraps her gift from the parish.  “I know what it is,” she says even before the paper is off.  It’s a small box, about the size of one of those little hardback children’s missals or mini-Bibles, but she knows better.

#4 leans close to watch.

After some struggle with the tape, our first communicant pulls out a metal-work cross, charming and elegant even seen through the bubble wrap.

Her little sister gasps.  “Bubble wrap!”

And is smartly corrected: “That’s my bubble wrap.”

But as I write, no one is playing with the bubble wrap, carefully set aside for just the right occasion.  Instead they’re doing music-theater with the florist’s water tubes salvaged from the bottom of the carnation stems.

 

 

 

3.5 Time Outs: Vatican Spies

Thanks once again to our host Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy putting the mmmmn in Church Militant since  . . . well, awhile.

It's electric. Except when it's not.

1.

You wanna know what’s better than bacon? Eric Sammons e-mailing to ask, “May I send you a review copy of my new book?”

I know!  I couldn’t believe it either!  I figured the SuperHusband must have driven to Florida in desperation, in order to beg a perfect stranger to please give his wife something, anything, that would help her grow in holiness.  He would have observed that I already had a large collection of freebie plastic rosaries, so please did Mr. Sammons know of anything else that might help?

Another possible explanation is that since I liked the first book, maybe I’d like the next one, too.

2.

I worry sometimes that if I get too many review books, it will cause me to neglect my local Catholic bookstore.  Fear not!  The kids are taking care of us.  For example – item #2 that’s better than bacon: This Sunday the “Roamin’ Catholic” bookmobile was parked at our parish.  Yay!  My favorite time of year!  And the 4th grader spots this DVD and asks, “Please can we get this Mom?”

It’s a pretty simple formula:  Child requests DVD about real-life Nazi-thwarting Secret Agent Nun?  Mom says, “Um.  Yes.”  We haven’t watched it yet, though.  I’ve been too busy yelling at the kids to clean the house growing in holiness.

3.

My biggest disappointment in reading Jack Chick tracts was the discovery that, through some bureaucratic snafu, I’d been cheated.  If I really became a citizen of Vatican City the day I was baptized, where’s my passport???  Ah, but now my son has rectified my problem, and issued me my secret-agent ID:

Don’t worry, I’m still gonna carry my regular ID as well.

3.5

 . . . delightful to read on a Sunday afternoon.  See the review just below this post, or click here.

EDITED to add: And yeah, of course it’s link day.  If you have one you want to share, we’re all eyes.