Professional Hazards

Dear Former Associates of the Man Who Lives in my Neighbor’s Garage:

Yes, I have been writing posts about forgiveness.  All the same, it is not necessary for your motor vehicles to malfunction in a way that alters the appearance and operation of my motor vehicles.  At eleven at night.  When I have the plague.  However, I am very grateful that you chose the minivan I do not love, instead of the truck that I do love.  Please continue to direct your mishaps towards my un-loved but well-insured property, because I’m afraid my soul is still quite small.

Likewise, my sense of humor, though medium-sized, is only amused at damage to your truck (see: “small soul” above).  That crashing sound as you sped out of the neighborhood really hit the spot.  So to speak.  I was also tickled to learn that incidents involving parked vehicles on private property are beyond the jurisdiction of the County Sheriff’s department.  I did not realize that what we call the “State Troopers” are technically the State Highway and Driveway Patrol.  My boy was quite pleased to meet so many officers in one evening.

Yours in Christ and increasingly weary,


PS: I am not complaining, only observing.

PPS: I don’t suppose you, too, needed several chapters of the Doctors of the Church to settle down after?

4 thoughts on “Professional Hazards

  1. Bearing – honestly it was sort of a comic night. I could just barely write fiction like this, and people would consider it slapstick. Oddly, SC’s finest really were entirely like what you’d hope. Nice guys. (I don’t think I’ve met one yet who acts anything like a hollywood movie. These guys were even personable and sympathetic.)

    Christian – yes, it should. There’s a reason we call it the inferno.

    GD – that is so true. Honestly the dogs bother me more than the car. The car I can get fixed. The dogs . . . not so easy. Though now that I have a dog who barks too much, I don’t mind so much any more. I only mind the ones that wander around charging people trying to take a walk. (see “inferno” above — actually it’s a nice neighborhood. No really, it is. Sort of.)


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