I received nothing from St. Nicholas and find his obvious indifference to me to be much more unsettling than finding a rock in my shoe.
The difficulty here is that Fr. Gunrow put his shoes out for the wrong saint. You can avoid this problem by carefully matching the needs of your soul to the saint who can best help you. Here’s a quick guide to which vigils you should set out your shoes in order to receive what you need in the morning:
St. Zita . . . Your lost keys.
St. Therese . . . Roses.
St. Juan Diego . . . Roses; painted tilma. Both if you’re extra good.
St. Michael . . . Swords.
St. Vincent de Paul . . . Canned goods to donate to the local food pantry.
St. Catherine Labouré . . . Miraculous medals.
St. Catherine of Alexandria . . . Wheels.
St. Catherine of Siena . . . Fraternal correction; extreme penitence.
St. Dominic . . . Rosaries; improved homilies. Both if you’re extra bad.
St. Stephen . . . Rocks.
St. Lawrence . . . Steaks for your feast day BBQ.
St. Philip Neri . . . Joke books; small dogs; counter-reform.
St. Genevieve . . . List of all the conquering armies who are not in your living room this morning.
St. Paul . . . Thorns; shipwrecks; writing instruments.
St. Peter . . . Keys; fish; perpetual documentation of your chief failures in life.
St. Augustine . . . Book-length explanation of what your roommate did with those “borrowed” items.
St. Jerome . . . New Bible; scathing critique of your sorry attempts at theology.
St. Anthony . . . Maps; organizational tips; parking spaces.
Obviously this is the abbreviated version. To add your suggestions to the list . . . the combox is here.
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