It’s BADD time again, May 1. Of course I forgot, again, even though I knew it was coming up. But look, over at New Evangelizers, I reviewed Theology of the Body for Everybody. Which hits on exactly this topic. The whole living-in-a-body experience we human persons get to enjoy. Go look.
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And now you’re back, and here is my annual BADD comment, 2013 Edition:
People don’t want to be treated like dirt.
Profound, I know. (Hence Leah Perrault’s whole book on the topic. See “book review” above.)
When you read around at crotchety disability-rights sites, there’s a lot of conversation about how to think about disability. Something that confuses bystanders is the insistence that it’s not about the medical condition.
Which puzzles, for several reasons. The first is the happy-sad problem. Given the choice between hearing and not-hearing, seeing and not-seeing, walking and not-walking, everything else equal, we go for the ability every time.
Now someone might say, “I’m so glad I had this stroke, because it caused me to learn so much about __{insert profound revelation here}__.” And what they mean is typically not, “I always wanted to know what it was like to slur my speech!”
Rather, the “I’m so glad” is usually code for, “I discovered there was this whole part of my life I’d been ignoring, and now I’ve grown in ways that matter far more than any physical ability, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” People say that, and they mean it. For good reason. But still, if they could have the spiritual growth and the ability to remember words on command, yeah, they’d take both. Nothing wrong with being able to talk. We know this, instinctively.
But here’s the other thing we know instinctively: Humans deserve to be treated with respect. And the disrespect of disablism falls into two big lumps:
1. Can’t be bothered to have you around. Too much work. So terribly haaaaaarrrd to put in a ramp. So coooooomplicated trying to have one Mass, anywhere in the diocese, ever, with an ASL interpreter. So very, very overwhelming, having to change the seating arrangement, or modify the assignment, or find one more volunteer to assist the kid who needs assistance.
The message is pretty clear: It’s not that we don’t love you. We just don’t love you enough to go through any inconvenience for you.
2. Your kind of suffering is not my kind of suffering. This is straight out of the eugenics playbook. It’s no surprise that the recent fashion for killing off disabled children before they see light of day is always couched in terms of “avoiding suffering”. Better to be dead than to be you.
The feeling may well be mutual, but that’s no solution. The solution is to quit being such a wimp. To quit dividing the Fates of Man into a two-part list, labeled Normal Problems and Pitiful Freaks. This isn’t 1930. Get over that nasty notion that you must be ranked among The Fit in order to deserve life and respect.
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And since BADD is the annual day for airing our pet peeves, I’ll share one with you: If you never really appreciated your kid-job-marriage-finger-toe-brain until it was gone . . . could you keep it to yourself? Or just let everyone know you have a gratitude-deficiency-disorder. I guess I could cultivate some compassion for that.
See all the BADD entries, which are by no means Catholic nor genteel, here.
As to #1) Yes: it’s so MUCH WORK and we can’t really be bothered. And I see this everyday, in surprising ways – in the actions of people who don’t think they’re ableist, who would INSIST that they are, in fact my allies. And somehow, that winds up hurting more? Great post, though.
I once heard someone suggest, for a two-story community center built into a hill, that we could save money on an elevator by having folks go outside, and drive/ride up or down the hill to change floors. Really? Really?? I get poverty. I get not having money for an elevator. Or a translator. Or a specialist. Or whatever. But there reaches a point when the means are there, and it’s the will that is lacking.
(Said by a person who’s entirely capable of clueless stupidity. I’m sure I aggravate people with my thoughtlessness on a daily basis. But hey, it’s BADD, why not complain about someone other than myself for a change?)
People don’t want to be treated like dirt – kind of sums things up beautifully. Thank you.
(That story above was a reply to Ruth. Ended up in a weird place. I dunno why.)
Sometime people stink… in a metaphorical, not literal sense. I see it a lot when I travel so much… but I do, every now and then, see random acts of kindness, thoughtfulness, and/or random things that restore faith in humanity. This video is kinda epic… usually Russian dash cams show horrible wrecks and the craziest drivers but not this one. I feel like the music is perfect for it too. http://youtu.be/MGEiA80ZL08
Note: If you reading this and intend on watching this video, grab some tissues.
Re 2: I know I’ve shared this with you before… but it fits perfectly. First time I saw it I really cried…and I don’t cry. It was sad to realize just how much this goes on… not seeing *any* disabled or impaired or etc anywhere when I’ve been to Korea. Even the homeless were hard to find… and it isn’t because the country is more advance….
http://youtu.be/3nO_E-zvwcM
Yep. It’s not that people are all bad, not by a long shot.