Category: Catholic Topics

Hoodlum-Loving Pro-Life Ninjas

The reference to ninjas is tucked inside Simcha Fischer’s otherwise apolitical posting of a Loretta Lynn housewife song:

It seems like a pretty good follow-up to the March for Life, doesn’t it?  You know, that day when hundreds of thousands of ninjas march to show their support of women and babies.  I say “ninjas” because they somehow slip by the attention of the media — amazing!  It’s like they were never there.  And yet they get the job done.

Our local March for Life, however, was not entirely ignored by the media.  Our free entertainment weekly, which doubles as our incisive political reporting weekly*, made mention of the event:  Our intrepid reporter tells us that the March happened, and then utterly topples the foundations of the Pro-Life movement, by pointing out that all those aborted babies would have grown up to be criminals anyway.

Not his idea, he was citing Levitt & Dubner in the very famous Freakonomics.  (The hardcover was published William Morrow, 2005.  You can buy other versions now, of course.)  The book doesn’t make any moral prescriptions, by the way — economists general don’t.  But it really does set forth the theory that the drop in the crime rate that occurred in the 1990’s was the direct result of Roe v. Wade.  The idea being that the really bad mothers know they are really bad mothers, so they abort their children rather than raising them up to a life of crime.  And 18 years later, you and I reap the benefits of that instinctive act of preemptive genocide.

If only all those marching ninjas had known!

But all mockery aside, our reporter got to the bizarre heart of the Pro-Life movement: We actually believe that even the children of ne’er-do-wells should not be summarily executed.  We are willing to take the risk that you, child of poverty, decadence, and a very broken home, may or may not live out the hope embodied in your cute little baby smile.

Radical freedom.  The idea that the right to life belongs even the children of those other kinds of people.   The idea that having lousy parents is not, in itself, a capital crime.

And so I’m thankful to our reporter for giving us such a clear vision of the divide.  We see how those who want to apply the abortion chapter of Freakonomics to public policy feel about the human race:  What’s a few million dead bodies, if it lowers the crime rate?

Which explains why you would need thousands upon thousands of ninjas, if you wanted to go head-to-head with a regime like that.

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*I am not kidding about the politics — in addition to vast coverage of bars, restaurants, and services with 1-900 phone numbers, it really is the only local paper that does investigative reporting.  And we wonder why the mainstream newspapers are failing.

Christians Caught in the Act

I’ve got a real weak spot for people who take the Gospel earnestly.  Joel & Rachel write here about “Why We Love the Mennonites”.  They share seven ways the Mennonites they have known act like actual Christians.  Point #7 gets to the heart of it*:

Jesus is the centre of everything they do. All the points mentioned above are because they are trying to take Jesus seriously as he is presented in the Bible. That following Jesus is about more than just saying a one-time prayer. But it is entering into a kingdom that is slowly permeating and overtaking this world. Not in violent, loud ways, but in subtle ways. In a powerful love that actually believes the love of Christ is the most powerful force in this world and God entrusted his people with that power to use it for his glory and for his kingdom. Sometimes in Christian circles that become very social justice driven, for some reason Jesus plays a less central role. I love the Mennonites because Jesus is the center and is the motivation for everything they do.

Other than a disagreement about the details of non-violence, and of course the necessary passion for good catechesis, this is all catholic teaching.  (It is not a huge surprise that protestants talking about protestants tend to prefer doctrinal minimalism. You just ignore that part.)

Take-away lesson is this:  Act like a Christian. If you managed to pull off all seven points, you could accidentally end up beatified.

And your hostess, Guilty Party #1, adds this: Don’t whine about church unity when you haven’t got your act together.  This is exactly why the church is all torn up right now.  Peace and unity are the product of holiness, not the other way around.

This ends our morning kick-in-the-pants.  Have a great Wednesday.

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*Apparently good German cooking is strictly optional.  Though didn’t Thomas Aquinas study in Cologne?  And see how well he turned out.  I wouldn’t toss the spaetzle too hastily.

Online Catholic Writers’ Conference is March 21-27

This is an excellent event.  Free, no-obligation, and exceedingly helpful.  Highly recommended.  Open to any kind of writer, any skill level.

And FYI they are still accepting presenters.  Say, if you could totally write the book, so to speak, on how to build the perfect bad guy, or maintain suspense, or some other important writerly skill.  Ahem.

–> Classes BTW can be either a discussion-forum class led all week, or a on-hour, one-time chat session Q&A.  (Or both — some people combine.)  So you can pick the format that suits your needs and availability.

Here’s a little info from the conference website: 

The annual Catholic Writers’ Conference Online is scheduled for March 21-27. Why join this conference?

* It’s Free!
* It’s Online! All classes are held via live scheduled chats or week-long forums. Work it around your busy schedule. Take as many or as few classes as you wish.
* It’s Opportunity! Meet writers, editors, publishers and marketers from around the world! Pitch Sessions with publishers (Catholic and non-Catholic) are available on a limited basis.
* It’s a Blessing!
Calendar of Events for Presenters and Attendees:

REGISTRATION: September 16-March 1
Feb 28: Deadline for Presenter sign-up with bio, description of course (please use survey link)
Feb 28: Deadline for Presenters who will hear pitch sessions to send guidelines or link to guidelines (please use survey link)
Feb 28: Deadline for presenter Amazon links for the Conference Kiosk
Feb 28: Deadline for presenter Banner ads
March 1: Deadline for participant sign-up
March 10: Presenters wishing to have us post handouts should send them
March 1-15 (or until full): Registration for presenting book pitches to publishers
March 15-21: Presenters post handouts and forum lessons

Learn more at www.catholicwritersconference.com.

Hide Me in Your Wounds CD

Hathaway posts his fan mail, and also mentions the lives changed by listeners to his own homegrown prayer CD.

I do not actually get to listen to my copy.  There’s no CD player in my truck, and very little quiet around the house*.   But here’s what my copy is super useful for: CCD.

Because after a while, I’m 98% sure the kids are sick of listening to my voice.  So at the end of class (or the beginning, or the middle), I can pick out a lesson-appropriate prayer off the CD, and the kids can quietly meditate to the sound of somebody else.

FYI John has a very neutral accent and clear voice (he is a trained singer), and no weird dramatic stuff.  Just prayers.  From a guy who has a for-real prayer life, which I know because I have caught him at it.  Prayers include about everything you could want a student to know:

Byzantine Opening Prayers
Come Holy Spirit
Breathe in Me O Holy Spirit
Lorica of St. Patrick
Morning Offering
Acts of Faith, Hope and Love
Short Aspirations
Prayers for Priests,
Vocations,
and the Holy Souls
Morning Prayer of J.H. Newman
St. Michael Prayer
Litany of the Saints
St. Bridget Prayers
St. Therese Prayer
Prayers of St. Ignatius
Franciscan Peace Prayer
St. Anselm Daily Prayer
St. Michael Chaplet
Prayers for Spiritual Growth
Litany of Humility
Prayer to the Infant of Prague
Flos Carmeli

Or at least enough to keep you quite busy.

FYI I am in the middle of trying to persuade the man to record a music CD for use in religious ed, too.  Let him know if you have a hymn request for that.  Something you want to be able to teach your students in class (or children at home), but maybe you want some help leading, because you aren’t  a brilliant musician.  Or maybe you are a brilliant musician, but you still like to play a CD for the kids when they sing.

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*Yes, I know I listen to audio books while exercising or folding laundry.  I guess I should listen to prayer CD’s while doing that.  Hathaway nods.  But you don’t understand, John, I’ve got this great lecture series on Byzantine history — I didn’t even know I *liked* Byzantine history.  Hathaway says, maybe you’ll like praying, too.  You could be surprised.

The Reading Man’s Religion

Eric Sammons posts a link to a bible-in-a-year program for CATHOLICS.  Yes, Catholics!  You don’t have to use one of those abridged-bible programs, and then quick cram in extra books at the end!  All books of bible already accounted for!

And if that’s not enough . . . read the CATECHISM along with it!  The whole thing!  Because there is no ten-point statement of faith for us, no sir!  After nearly 2,000 years of theological debate, it is true we still refuse to corner you at a cocktail party and lay out the particulars of the End Times, but we’ve managed to figure out a thing or two (or 2,865) all the same.

Be Catholic.  We’ve got the big books.  And we’re thinking maybe we even ought to read them.  I bet the IC would approve.

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Fine print: 356-day program (so you can finish in less than a year, if it’s a leap year).  You can start any time, the days are simply numbered one after another.  You could get behind on Wednesdays and Fridays, and then catch up in one giant fest on Sundays, or vice-versa.   You could take more than one year to read the whole thing, but we won’t talk about that.  And every day there is a reading from a historical Old Testament book, a piece of wisdom literature, and a New Testament book.  (Plus the catechism, of course).  So you are not, repeat: ARE NOT, utterly plunged into Leviticus or Numbers for weeks on end with no respite.  That is, you have a nice Gospel passage about “taking up your cross” or some such thing to remind you that reading the $%^#@* building plans divinely inspired designed for the tabernacle is for your own benefit.   (And that you should go to confession for being so impatient about wanting to get on with the story.  Don’t worry, plenty of time for graphic violence mid-year, must work through a little front matter first.)

Please Pray for John C. Hathaway

Can’t believe I didn’t post this earlier today.  Anyway, please pray for John Hathaway.  You can be confident he will return the favor.

He is requesting the intercession of Bl. Herman and Bl. Margaret of Castello.

Thank you.

(His blog is here, for those who don’t know him.  If I could only have one other family in my parish, the Hathaways would win.  Utterly delightful to people know.)

More about our ADVENTure Day

This is for Dorian, who asked very nicely in the combox.

Here’s the story on ADVENTure day:  Two years ago, our then-new DRE went with a new VBS program. (Pre-packaged.)  Instead of dividing the kids into grade-level classrooms, the kids were grouped into mixed-age crews that traveled from station to station through the morning. Crafts, snacks, games, music, Bible story room (that was me), all that.   It worked very well.   We volunteers didn’t have to be jacks of all trades (an actual music teacher teaching music!), and there was more intensity and liveliness to each room.

So she finished VBS #1 resolved to do more of the same during the year.

There was a living rosary in October (on the playground, visited by a pack of stray dogs, oops), but the real big invention was ADVENTure.  Instead of running K-5 classes on Wednesday evenings in December, we would host one school-day-long VBS-type Advent program on the first Saturday of Advent.  Parents could have free babysitting from 9-3, and catechists would have off the rest of the month. [6th grade and up have regular classes all month.]

Here’s what we do, and I’ll describe this year’s program, since she made a few tweaks that helped it run more smoothly.

Students are sorted into mixed-age crews of 15-20 kids.  Not random: 5th graders with K5, 4th with 1st, and 2nd & 3rd.  I noticed this year the 2nd/3rd groups were boys in one crew, girls in the other.  (Oh my. Those boys.  Had to take the markers away.  Fast.)  Youth from grades 6 & up volunteered to lead the crews from class to class.  2-4 youth per team.  They helped with the kids, and also managed potty breaks and other crises.

Catechists paired up and we manned several lesson rooms.  This year it was St. Francis & the Nativity, Our Lady of Guadalupe, St. Nicholas, and Church Year Calendar.  In each room we were issued a story book or similar educational prop, and then a craft to go with.  Our DRE gives us a fairly free hand to adapt the lessons to our teaching strengths.  I ended up subbing out the story book with a different St. Nicholas book from the library, and running more a discussion-style lesson with tidbits from the book, rather than just reading the story.  It worked well.

(Last year in the St. Nick room my co-teacher and I alternated teaching at each class period.  This year, different co-teacher, I taught the first class, and she never let me quit.  She did all the support work with getting supplies queued up and helping manage kids.)

Our DRE conscripted her grown daughter as slave labor to get all the craft supplies organized and do necessary prep-work so that everything was ready to go and in the classrooms Saturday morning.  I brought along my own sets of coloring sheets, wordsearch and crossword puzzles just in case I needed to fill time, and I ended up using them a bunch.  (For those 2nd/3rd grade boys, I fully subbed out the worksheets and sent home the craft, because the craft was.not.happening.  Just not.)  Some of the classes that finished early just sent the kids out to the playground with their crew leaders.  That was good.

Kids were each issued a bag with name-tag and grade affixed in which to collect all their papers and artwork.  [But, this year’s crisis: a bunch of the bags split open.  Note for next year: sturdier bags.]

Class periods lasted aproximately 30 minutes.  Additionally there were two movie rooms running double-period movie viewings.  The Knights of Columbus served lunch (hot dogs or bring your own) in two or three lunch periods, plus our resident snack lady (the one whose kids have the very worst food allergies — she is a master at making sure no one dies of peanut exposure) oversaw a snack period in the afternoon.  Students brought juice boxes (boys) or cookies (girls) to provide for the snack.  There was a nicer snack cart in the catechist supply room for grown-ups.

Having the movie, lunch and snack periods meant that each teaching pair got three break periods through the day.  This is essential.

At 2:45 we brought the kids out to the car line per our usual dismissal process, and parents picked up kids between 2:45 and 3:00.

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So there you go, Dorian.  Ask away if you have any questions.

And FYI last year our DRE also put together an Eggstravaganza on the morning of Holy Saturday — so fleshing out the long-established egg hunt with on-topic crafts and lessons.  Unfortunately I was out sick (it was either rest up or skip the Easter Vigil — pretty obvious choice), so I can’t report.   This year I firmly resolve not to catch any ailments.  Ha.

PS to Dorian: See how I am making a category name that is a tribute to your Catechist Chat series?  So that everyone will know I am truly your disciple?

’tis the season to be cranky

Simcha says what needs to be said. (Again. It needs be said every year.)

And so I leave off my rant about a certain otherwise excellent homeschooling magazine that devoted a disproportionate number of pages to Advent Crafts.  No.  No.  Just say no.  Advent is for catching up on your math and maybe chopping up a lot of firewood.  My goodness are families really sitting around trying to think up one.more.thing. that must be done in order to properly mark the season??

I think not.

Then again, if you have a lot of nervous energy you need to work off, crocheting O-antiphon doilies and making a special set of Jesse Tree shaped cookies is no doubt better than chain-smoking and raiding the eggnog ahead of schedule.  So I condemn you not, Craft People.

You are crazy, yes.  But then again I’ve got Bethlehem built in my living room (getting crowded now that the seven dwarves have rented out rooms — you begin to see why Joseph should have hit the road sooner), and no doubt some poor reader will feel inadequate for want of their very own pseudo-medieval Playmobil version of Herod’s fortress.  With kangaroos.

I suppose we chalk it up to man’s need for penance?  For lack of a strict orthodox-style fast, we punish ourselves with craft guilt?  One more week of Advent, and then we can all switch gears and complain about people who celebrate Christmas for the wrong number of days.

Happy Holidays.

holy catechesis, batman

So the truth is, the number 1 thing I’m going to steal from Christian LeBlanc’s religious-ed snapshots is the line “Stop guessing like monkeys and think!” But there’s good info, too, about you know, the bible and saints and religion and stuff.  Plus how to use the gross-out factor to keep your 6th graders captivated.  Did I say that out loud?  What I meant was, how to use Q&A within a lecture format, to help the kids pay attention and think through the material, and cover lots of details without everyone getting lost.

(I would never, ever, pick a saint to cover in class just because she was depicted with her eyeballs on a platter.  That would only be a coincidence.  Since her feast day came round.  Then, you know, it would be practically an obligation.  If I were teaching a room full of 12-year-old boys.)