Bearing asks for advice on how to assist children with their lenten devotions:
. . . I was not a child growing up in a practicing-Catholic family. I literally do not know how to encourage a Lenten devotion without becoming Lent Cop Mom.
Seriously. Help me out here. . . .
Since I know I have a few readers here who could answer this one, and because I want to know the answer too, please go read the whole thing and then inform us.
Thank you.
For Lent I tried to enforce the minimums but to make them think about it. So everyone had to “give up” something and it had to be something real. Everyone was encouraged to “add on” something. Everyone gave up meat on Fridays … oh, wait we never ate meat on Fridays anyway because my own children knew the rules and made me enforce them (dang it).
Anyway, whether they lived up to “giving up” something was up to them. They knew enough not to break their Lenten promise to God in front of me because I’d let them know I noticed. But the rest was between them and God. Because the whole family did it, perhaps, it took. Just as with most things, such as attending weekly Mass, it takes setting a good example, enforcing the minimum, and then encouraging the kid to remember it isn’t about what “Mom” wants but about them and God.
Don’t know if that helps or not …
Yes, that does help — Thank you!
Jen.
PS: You can call me Jen anytime you want. (So can everyone else. But especially you.)
Awwww, thanks … JEN! (woohoo! 😀 )
1. The whole family gives up something together, e.g., dessert, TV, the movies.
2. The whole family does extra things together: confession, Adoration, vespers, Stations of the Cross.
You are brilliant. As usual. Done.
The other thing that I realize I forgot to mention (after clicking through to Bearing’s post on the subject) was that I encouraged the kids to not just give up some random thing such as chocolate or ketchup. In a way appropriate to their ages I tried to help them look for something that was getting in the way of their relationship with God. Kind of a “what do you love TOO much” idea. Such as if not getting dessert one night might make them very angry, is that the right way to feel about dessert? This is simplistic, but it gives you the idea. In this way the kids wound up sometimes giving up talking about other kids behind their backs, making smart aleck remarks about teachers, etc. I tried to give it the underlying meaning. Sometimes this worked, sometimes not. But we do what we can and when it works we are giving the kids a way to do an examination of conscience that they can use the rest of the year.
See this was where I was getting stymied. I always customized my penance. Luckily my genius of a spouse came up with a family penance that suits all of our needs.
(Except for one child who didn’t need that particular discipline, but she already had made a customized list of penances anyway, so it worked out.)
Jen.
I hate Lent. It always ruins my prayer life, seriously. I try really hard, but I also try to leave out the Glorious Mysteries, avoid saying the A-Word, etc. And Lent almost always brings real life struggles that bear down hard and bring on depression, and mortal sin, and come Holy Week I’m just desperate to find a place to go to Confession before Easter Sunday. . . ..
As far as the kids go, I am always harping at them about thinking of those less fortunate, fasting, etc., so why should Lent be any different?
We’ve been have a very wacky first few days. My MIL asked what had gotten into the kids. I didn’t both trying to explain to her. Lent happens.
The only thing possibly useful I could think of to say to you specifically, John, is this: Satan hates you. You’re a real problem for him.
So, you’re gonna feel that. Especially as Easter approaches.
–> I guess now that I think about it, I would ought to be more surprised if somehow you had an easy Lent and Holy Week.
Remind me to pray extra for you guys.