It’s a day that comes after Monday. I released all the entries from moderation, and if your username was “Kidney Disease”, you got spammed, sorry. Drawing in a bit, after kids go to the dentist.
You guys are the best.
Author: JenniferFitz
7 Takes: Sinner’s Guide to NFP Giveaway Day
1. If you didn’t come here from there already, go visit our hostess. She’s got an especially entertaining set of takes up, including a bit of other interesting bookishness, Tom Clancy edition.
2. Of course you want this book:
That is why you’re here today, right? Excellent.
3. I read this book. This is how I know you want it. Or, if you answered #2 incorrectly, you would want it if only you were in your right mind this morning.
3.5: What if you already have a copy?! And now it’s too late to win one! You’re allowed to enter and win for a friend instead. See? Thanksgiving present. Perfect.
3.75: As I told you last week, it’s AOK to enter this contest, win the book, and never come back to this blog again. I so don’t care and am not keeping track.
4. Here’s the scoop on the book, and why you need to reform your ways if you didn’t answer #2, 3, 3.5, or 3.75 correctly:
(A) You know how you hate NFP? You use it and all, or you would, but it’s maybe not the rapturous experience that you always dreamt of, when you first read the words “cervical mucus”? This book is about that. NFP Frustration.
(B) The book doesn’t talk about cervical mucus. It doesn’t have 10 Ways to Get a Better Temp Rise, Faster! Now! A Full 4/10ths of a Degree or Your Money Back!!
Most books are better if they don’t include that. –> Except if you’re trying to learn NFP. In which case the amusing way in which this contest is being run will help you with that.
(C) Every stupid thing about NFP ever. said. by some idiot who clearly has a Josephite marriage and prefers it that way (did Joseph? I’m skeptical.), REFUTED! Blammo! In YOUR PLACE crazy people. Done.
(D) Except charitably.
(E) Downright Theology of the Body, if you must know. Only, it’s not, “I drank the TOTB water, and now I drool unicorns and rainbows.” It’s more like: “Hey! TOTB Water! You can brew beer with that!”
(F) It’s a short book.
(G) There were points where I did not laugh out loud. I laughed so hard sound would not come out of my body. I would have rolled on the floor laughing, except that I was laughing too hard to fall out of my chair. I’m sure it was weird looking. There are certain chapters you might not want to read in public.
(H) We aren’t doing the whole alphabet.
(I) But I thought up another thing: This book is the perfect marriage book. So if you know somebody who’s married, or who is thinking of getting married, this would be a great gift. I’ve been married 47.5% of my life. I know what it takes. Simcha’s nailed it. On the head.
(J) It’s pronounced “Sim-ka”. Like the “ch” sound in “School”. Because Simka’s so chool.
(K) Yeah, I was saying it wrong too.
(L) I didn’t ask how to pronounce “Fisher”. We’re all just winging it on that one.
5. How to Enter the Contest
[UPDATE: I made an easier entry method over at AmazingCatechists.com. Go there for the simple name-and-a-comment version. You can also make it your 4th entry, if you’ve done all three here. Now back to how it works here . . .]
The giveaway takes place 100% 98% in my combox. I just cleaned out my spambox, but you’ll be more likely not to end up permanently moderated if you don’t choose a name like, “Free Nike’s Cheap” or “Real Louis Vuitton.” If your name is also the name of a famous piece of merchandise, or includes a grocer’s apostrophe, you might wish to use an alias for this one.
To enter the contest, leave a comment here in this post. Not a different post. This post. Give yourself a username (it can be anything, but if you win, Simcha’s going to call you that name), and leave an e-mail address in the field that asks for it, which only I the moderator can see, a nobody else. If you like, go get yourself a free e-mail account solely for this contest, if that’s the way you roll. You don’t need to fill out the “website” field, though if your entry is especially amusing, people might want to know about you.
You get up to three entries within your comment.
Entry #1: Say something nice to Simcha! Examples of winning entries:
“Hi, Simcha!”
“Thanks for writing this book!”
“Your kids are cute!”
“I’m not stalking you, Simcha, I just want a free book, that’s all!”
Entry #2: There’s nothing in Simcha’s book about how to actually use NFP. So tell us where you learned NFP, or give us a link to a useful website you like, or something else that will help the puzzled people who have no idea why 4/10ths of a degree is so, so, important.
#2: Alternative: If you have no clue about those 4/10ths, you can say that. You could also say something like, “I don’t know why cervical mucus is such a big deal,” or “I wish I could be as cool as you NFP-using ladies, but instead I answered the call to holy orders, but I need this book for my couple that does marriage prep, and the finance council won’t give me $4.99.” Or whatever.
Entry #3: NFP. Discuss.
#3 Alternative: Tell us a good joke. Something clean, or I’ll have to edit it.
6. You don’t have to do all three entries. But you increase your odds of winning if you do.
7. The drawing will be done using accounting methods, not literary ones. You don’t have to be clever to win, you just have to vaguely sort of follow instructions.
The contest closes at Midnight on Monday, November 4th. By “Midnight”, what we mean is sometime after midnight in NYC, and probably no sooner than about 4 – 5 AM Tuesday, later if we’re lucky. By “Tuesday”, what we mean is, “A day that comes after Monday, and it might even really be Tuesday.”
If you are the winner, I will announce your username from the combox on this blog so that everyone knows, sort of, who won. I will also e-mail you using the address you gave me. If it becomes apparent that you expired from the shock and pleasure of it all, we’ll pick a new winner.
–> Simcha will then send you your copy of the book in the digital format of your choice, from her collection of possible digital formats. She’s really nice about helping technically-challenged people figure out how to open their book. I tested her on this to make sure.
Enter now!
Sinner’s Guide cover art courtesy of Amazon.com.
You might be a homeschooler if . . .
1. You get to the bottom of the crate of produce your friend delivered from the farmer’s market, and you find an educational supply catalog used for the lining.
2. You are tempted to keep the catalog. It looks interesting!
Small Success Thursday – Halloween
1. I made it through the interview sounding mostly like myself. Which is accurate if not always flattering. I haven’t listened, but I have it on good authority that’s how it panned out.
2. Wrote this post to follow-up: Halloween, Playfulness & GK Chesterton. I’m not sure whether my new approach at the blorg,of doing part essay – part book review (or snippet), is going to make my boss happy, or irritated, or nothing at all. But it’s more fun than straight reviews. I almost always have a book to go with a rant. I’m reliable that way.
3. We’re painting pumpkins. Which means we:
(a) Obtained pumpkins.
(b) Attempted to carve them.
(c) Realized it was futile.
I like the painted thing better, honestly.
4. Not only did I deskavate last week, I fully cleaned the entire study. Yes. For who don’t know, my study was sort of like that situation with the trash barge full of hazardous waste being parked in international waters waiting for someone to accept it. And then, one day, cleaning fairies came and made all the garbage magically disappear, and left an organized work space in its place. Not a small success. But I cheat and post it here anyway.
5. I keep forgetting to write my seven takes for tomorrow’s giveaway. Luckily it’s a feast day and I don’t have to be anywhere until noon. So I can do it last minute. If you find yourself take-stalking, just be patient, there’s no advantage to entering early.
More Radio – 9AM Oct. 31 – Sirius Catholic Channel
Me, talking to Gus Lloyd about the whole Halloween thing, 9AM tomorrow on the Catholic Channel. At least that’s the plan. His guy saw the book review over at Patheos. I’d better bone up on the invisible things problem.
If it goes well, and I get my house clean too, I’ll have something to say for Small Success Thursday.
Faith, Science, Halloween – assorted links and book recommendations
(1) Link for those who haven’t seen it: Up at the blorg, my thoughts on the belief in invisible things, and a book recommendation for who those who believe in invisible things both animate and inanimate.
(2) Julie D. reminds you that Nov. 1 is a Holy Day of Obligation.
(3) I demonstrated my incompetent streak yesterday by attempting to open my review copy of SImcha Fisher’s new book, but luckily the author herself came to my help when I pleaded. She regrets associating with me, I’m sure.
But hey! I read the book! It’s very good, and fills a niche about the size of a deep sea trench in the literature on NFP. Also, I laughed at select passages — not out loud, but that silent, tears-rolling-down-cheeks thing that you do when something is too funny for laughing out loud. (There were other parts that exhort the reader to maturity and selfless love and all that. I was duly solemn during those parts.)
Giveaway opens Friday, and I will sit on my hands and not quote any punch lines. Therese-like self-control here.
Cover art courtesy of MTF. LOVE these guys. Love ’em.
Monday afternoon – beta readers, another review, and my life, sneezy.
I remembered, using that amazing technical trick called “looking at the calendar,” that today was my day to write at the Catholic Writers Guild blog. Thus I give a brief exhortation on the importance of beta readers, and explain that my book is professional-ish because of certain key helpers, and it is not stupid and offensive because of Dorian Speed.
In other news:
1. We all have colds. My plans for renewed commitment to educational diligence are faltering.
2. Ellen Gable Hrkach posted a review of my book at Amazon. Short and favorable – suits me. Thanks, Ellen!
A review!
Christian LeBlanc does a chapter-by-chapter comparison of what I say in my book to what he does in his class. Full disclosure: Christian had the chance to save me from me disaster early in the process — he’s one of the dozen or two teachers and catechists I had as beta-readers on my manuscript. Turns out the book more than passes, despite edits and additions since he did his reading of the first draft.
On the topic of manuscript-readers, take a look at this quote from Christian’s review:
Enforce: I like the sound of that- ENFORCE. But Jen first points out that “You cannot control your students. You cannot.” A timely observation: just this week I experienced the oddest behavior I’ve ever seen in a classroom in my entire life, and we just worked around it ’til class was over. Anyway, Jen lists about 10 discrete problems and solutions from her own classroom; and to the extent that I have those problems, my solutions are virtually the same.
The money concept — that you cannot control student outcomes, but can only control your own reactions and behaviors — is one that John McNichol gave me a big thumbs-up on. When I went to cut the book in half for my first re-write, that bit stayed in mostly because John said it was so important. I figured if he who teaches middle school said something was important, it was.
Linking Around: Liturgy & Music & Lady Susan & More
Now up at New Evangelizers: I went to St. Mary’s, Greenville, and came home with a book report. About the bulletin.
***
So that visit prompted a twitter conversation between me & Katie O’Keefe — she started it, of course, and made personal twitter history with me, because it was my first ever use of the medium for conversation. Now look, she’s started construction on a website related to church music. Score. I am waiting, waiting, waiting for her to publish her list of must-know sacred music, because I don’t want to spill the beans. But it’s a good list.
Meanwhile SuperHusband and #2 have been sneaking into the city to get schooled by Dr. Music at the for-serious choir, where they were desperate enough for a second base bass that they’d accept a low tenor who openly admitted he was just there for singing lessons. Dr. Music, being that kind of guy, is perfectly happy to train cantors from other parishes. He just wants more good music in the world.
Something interesting to read: Liturgical Music Today: The Best of Times, The Worst of Times. Maybe the book is terrible. But the interview sounds . . . sane.
Something Not About Liturgical Music interesting to read: Brandon @ Siris on why Lady Susan is mighty mighty good Jane Austen. I need to re-read.
***
Something else: Dr. Greg links here to an article about relationships & parenting / homeschooling / discipline / all that stuff. There were a handful of threads this week revolving about this theme, very timely for me in light of my talk in two weeks.
I think my book makes it abundantly clear that a healthy relationship with your students is foundational to classroom management. If you miss that, you missed the one big thing. The rest is just tactics for how to have that relationship. Those aren’t the terms I use. But that’s the deal.
So, having been reminded that maybe some folks would miss the ocean for the waves, I’ll be sure to point that out. I think I’m going to make it a regular refrain.
HINT: You know that word “discipline”? And how it has the word “disciple” hiding inside of it? Try to imagine Our Lord not having a relationship with His disciples. Doesn’t work, does it? Can’t have one without the other.
7 Takes: Staying in Sync with the Church – and why I hate these spontaneous fast days.
This week: 7 takes, domestic Church edition.
Next week: 7 takes, Sinner’s Guide to NFP Giveaway edition. More at the bottom.
***
Here’s what: the Pope and US Bishops are driving me nuts with their spur-of-the-moment fasting gigs, called as only bachelors could call them. Reason #2 of course is that I’m a whiner when it comes to fasting. But reason #1 is legit: It takes advance planning to stay in sync with the Church.
1. Sunday. Ha, Sunday. Day of rest, right? Which means you need to:
- Get the shopping done ahead of time, so you aren’t running out on Sunday for that One Thing You Really Need.
- Have a meal plan in place that isn’t going to drive you nuts with drudgery. See #7.
- Do the chores. By Saturday. Or wait till Monday.
- Get the laundry off the line, if the line is in the middle of some place you also have R&R. Or if you’ll worry about it.
- Schedule hectic, energy-draining social engagements for Saturday. Because Sunday = Rest, right? Not Birthday Party with 20 Seven Year Olds. That might sometimes be fun, but it’s never restful.
It’s not actually that hard to do this, btw. But you have to train yourself to do it. The pay off is huge. Not at all like those other things you make yourself do, where it’s a lot of work and then things are just normal or something. You work for Sunday, and then you get happy relaxing time. A whole day. It’s good.
2. Friday. Friday was the hardest thing about reverting, until we remembered Sunday and pushed the cycle forward not quite 48 hours. In the world I grew up in, Friday was Party Day. Early in our marriage (pre-reversion), Friday evening Jon & I would slap steaks on the grill, open the bottle of red, and celebrate another week over, another weekend under way. Festive Friday. Feasting Friday. Never Fasting Friday.
3. So you move forward Friday’s feast to Sunday, and it works. Grocery shop on Saturday (so you have good stuff on hand for Sunday), and by Friday you’ll be down to leftovers, dried-out bread, and the choice between fish sticks and mac-n-cheese.
4. You have to make the kids clean the house on Saturday, even though you’re tired from all week. Or else it’ll be a wreck come Sunday. Which isn’t restful. (It’ll still be a wreck come Sunday night. But you can at least give yourself those minutes before the kids wake up Sunday morning, right?)
5. Feast Days. Feast Days are like Sundays tossed into the middle of the week. So suddenly the vigil becomes, chore-wise, a second Saturday. [Saturday, recall: Jesus spent it in the grave, but you spend it doing twice as much work so that you can put your feet up on Sunday. Your end of the deal isn’t that bad, actually.]
6. Fasting. When you have a pile of kids, or a pile of work, or a pile of real life, so that you are completely stretched to your limit most of time, fasting takes work. It takes planning. It takes a stockpile of mental energy so you have the will not to eat when your body says otherwise.
The trouble being, you’re already doling out your reserves of energy and patience and motivation bit by truly needed bit. You’re already figuring out how to maximize your “go” so that you can get done what needs to be done. You know how retired people have clean houses and sit around doing hobbies and stuff, in between sitting around resting from their hobbies and stuff? Middle-aged people aren’t there (I hope for your sake). Kicking back for a quiet day of meditation and scrabble is lovely and and all, but it’s not something you the married lady with young children and no servants can organize on a moment’s notice.
Bachelors. They need more toddlers in their lives, to help them with this.
7. Leaving that dreadful reality behind and getting back to a tip for a happy Sunday: If you want to eat something good on Sunday, but it will require you to cook a bit on the day, make it something really, really good. Make it something that you don’t get eat on other days. Then you’ll find cooking it to be relaxing and exciting instead of just more work.
7.5. Or bacon.
7.55 Or coffee cake, acquired on Saturday night.
7.555 Or coffee cake and bacon. Sunday food.
***
So like I said up top, this same time & place next week, I’ll be hosting a giveway for Simcha Fisher’s new book, The Sinners Guide to NFP. FYI: It is absolutely acceptable to come here for the sole purpose of trying to win the book, and then never come back again. Doesn’t bother me.
–> Since it’s all so awkward, deciding whether Friday November 1st ought to be spent goofing off online (feast day!), or staying unplugged (holy day!), and then All Soul’s on the 2nd isn’t much easier to figure out, and then there’s Sunday . . . the combox will stay open until midnight Monday, and the winner will be announced Tuesday the 5th. At which time one lucky person will get the secret information about how have it all: Nine children and expertise on periodic continence.
Cover art courtesy of http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher/the-sinners-guide-to-nfp/.