3.5 Time Outs: The Sitcom Life

As I’m writing this on Monday and getting it scheduled for Tuesday, it’s occurred to me that Sept. 11th is a serious day.  Also my niece’s birthday. Please feel free to commemorate more solemn matters, and come back here to my trivial  comedy of a life some other day.

Thanks once again to our host Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who has never made me laugh during Mass, but often at other times.

Click and be amazed.


You know those movies where the lead characters acquire the run-down house/school/shop/bus/crematorium, and with the help of a fast-forward film sequence and a peppy soundtrack, they all pitch in and get the place cleaned up in about 2.5 minutes?  Complete with a spunky sign to announce their new venture?

I walked through my yard Sunday afternoon, and confirmed I am living in the “before” scene.

So now I just need some colorfully-dressed teenagers and a singing nun to descend on the place and fix it up.  Preferably before the Tinkerbell-themed birthday party this weekend.


I’m not winning the holiness award.  Because if your group stands up at the start of Mass and warms-up by chanting “Yellow Leather Red Leather”? Yes.  I’m going to bust out laughing.  In church.


But I’ll try do it quietly.  At least until I get to the parking lot.  Then I’m going to laugh very loudly.  And probably use the Lord’s name in vain, but then quickly convert it into a prayer of some nature, to do a kind of retroactive-save on that decidedly un-holy verbal reflex.

My son is 98%  holier than me, or at least 1 chromosome better suited for the priesthood (we knew that), because he kept a straight face the whole mass, and afterwards.  I was amazed.


. . . the Spanish Mass. [Where they do not do tongue-twister warm-ups — we’ve changed scenes completely.]  We have a new Spanish priest now, and he does not use the words “Jesus-Christo” and “Salvacion” as often as the previous one.  Which means I can no longer understand 5% of the homily, like I used to do under the old regime.  I do still like the mariachi mass, though.   So perky.



Still accepting suggestions for additions to the sidebar, so tell me who to add.  But do just one link per comment, because otherwise the robotic spam-dragon will consume the whole lot of them.  Thanks!

14 thoughts on “3.5 Time Outs: The Sitcom Life

  1. Why hello. I have a blog. I’d love for you to visit it. Maybe there’s something you will like there.


    (So THIS is how I get into your sidebar!)

    (Mind you, not that I have figured out what I’m doing with MY sidebars. Nope. But still. I am SOOOO proud of myself for having figured out what you mean with the cryptic “links in the combox” comment each week in the 3.5 time outs. You made me get out of my reader and leave! a! comment! GO YOU!)

    1. Yes, I definitely need to add you in the upcoming sidebar fix-up. The think with the links: People used to e-mail me links to post about it. Cool links. And I’d forget to post them. And slap my forehead — can’t believe I forgot to share it! So Link Day is the chance to not worry about whether it’s off topic, etc etc, if you have something to share, you can just share it.

  2. I started laughing at the fast-shot clean-up commentary. I think that only happens if you start playing an ’80s anthem-style rock song overhead. That’s my theory, anyway.

    “Red leather yellow leather”? Why not just scales?

    I was curious about why you’re at a Spanish Mass if you don’t know Spanish. Are you studying it? (If so, I suggest you add wordreference.com to your Foreign Language sidebar – it works great and the forums can be handy).

    I would have you add my blog if you had a “Spinster Aunts With Lots of Godchildren But No Marriage Prospects” or “Bertie’s Worst Nightmare.”

  3. okay Im a wittness, “red leather yellow leather”,breathe in hhh………. breathe out ahh………… CHILDREN MOVE THERE SHOULDERS TOO: up,back,down,foreward “weeeoooo,weeeeoooooo” “lalala!” “loolooloo!” meanwhile i sit in pew and crack up. oh,and the music selection that day was so dumb,but man am i glad we went to that mass. Why? we got E’claires afterwards.Yummy Yummy. man that church seems to have dumb music selections……
    -10 year old daughter

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