Thanks once again to our host, Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, always good, sometimes surprising.
Click and be amazed.
1.
My niece is here this week, so the topic ought to be Teenage Girls, but there’s not much to say. Other than: They’re fun and interesting and get along great with younger cousins, and also they sleep late. Which I don’t mind.
2.
But look, two good magazines:
One is the magazine of the Catholic Near East Welfare Association, and this was a pleasant surprise – sort of a Catholic National Geographic with a bit of the best of The Economist mixed in. The articles are substantial, and cover the history and contemporary issues in the regions CENWA serves. Not a light read — one of the articles this month is a history of the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, starting in the middle ages and detailing, regime by regime, the power plays and organizational shifts ever since.
PG warning: Though there are no graphic descriptions of the horrendous things that go on in these lands far away, difficult topics are named by name, no glossing over or glamorizing.
Highly recommended.*
Liguorian is the other end, intellectually, of Center-Catholic reading spectrum. Like Reader’s Digest for Catholics, only without the edge. Good all-purpose, inoffensive but unapologetically Catholic magazine, targeted towards your average man in the pew. Encouraging and inspiring without being too in-your-face. Gentle. For your parishioners who aren’t quite ready for The Register or Catholic Answers.
3.
We brought home from the library the season one DVD’s of the HBO-BBC series The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency. I haven’t read the books. But hey, what a cool show! Yes it runs sappy, and yes, I think you ought to watch along with your kids and provide a little parental guidance on the moral issues. But here’s what I love: Africa seen through the lense of the African middle class. How refreshing to see AIDS, or the ivory trade, or child sacrifice and witchcraft, or polygamy, or marital infidelity — through the eyes of someone other than PBS, NPR, Bill Gates or George Bush. And religion! Ha! People who can be overtly Christian on TV! Love it.
Moral note: The No. 1 Detective does not always resort to the police and the law for resolution to crimes uncovered. The Anglo-Saxon concept of Weregild comes in handy.
3.5
Glow in the dark rocks. I’m not sure whether I’m succeeding as hostess to the 17-year-old. I tried to explain that we don’t really do anything fun here, so it’s hard to think up activities. But listen, no visit to the inferno is complete without a trip to the third floor of the
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Well that’s all for today. Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, help yourself if you are so inclined. Limit yourself to one link per comment in order to avoid the spam dragon. Have a great week!
*FYI – CENWA itself is a bit of a disaster to deal with for the small-time donor. Nothing egregious, just your normal incompetence in the administrative offices in New York; the flurry of solicitations, set aside and kept dry for use in the paper-stove, could keep a small house warm all winter. But the magazine is great.
Anyone have any experience with Our Lady of the Rosary School? A friend asked for my opinion, and I know nothing. Please share! Thanks.
[FYI: I’m not considering them for myself. Quite happy with our current method. Just in case someone felt the need to talk me off the ledge . . . my friend has a very different personality and set of needs, and it looks like it might be a fit for her, if they are indeed a reputable group and all that.]
Thanks to our host Jen Fulwiler at Conversion Diary. I never was much of a joiner, but having two days a week to anchor my blogging helps me keep writing.
Going on vacation will crush your inbox. I’m working through my backlog. If I owe you something and you don’t hear from me by Monday, send me another e-mail?
2.
We went to Mob Museum. It is silly expensive, but once inside you quickly see where the money went. A bit over the top, but loaded with info and good exhibits. Focused 98% on your basic model 20th century American Mafia, with a strong orientation for what happened in Vegas that sent kickbacks all over the country. No monkeying around with glamorizing crime. Not suitable for young children, but well worth a visit if you have teens. Serious dose of reality.
A note on the location: I minded the $5 parking fee, until I came to my senses. Because that guy under the umbrella collecting your money? He’s watching your car the whole time. And not leaving you to walk across an empty parking lot all alone. Because it’s not the loveliest part of town.
6B:Julie at Happy Catholic has been writing about religious freedom every day of the fortnight.
7.
Hey, we should have a quick novena for Sandra of this combox and Larry L., who are getting married a week from tomorrow. In observance of the Week of Pre-Wedding Misery, which can only be made more fun by hosting a slew of Yankee relatives in this heat. Hey, St. Laurence would be perfect, huh? And let’s see . . . any thoughts on a good second saint for the daily litany? St. Katharine Drexel comes to mind — she was a northerner who did good things in the South. Any other votes?
Thanks once again to our host, Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who won’t mind if I’m slow on registering with Mr. Linky due to my temporary change in vices while I’m out here in the desert. Right Larry? Maybe?
Click and be amazed.
1.
This afternoon at lunch Dad saw me coveting the editorial page of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, and quick shoved a library book in my hands before a fight broke out:
What the monks already told you. Explained.
I’ve read as far as Chapter 4, and Kahneman has explained several of his and his colleague’s discoveries about human thinking and behavior that are, reportedly, surprising. I’d read a few of them elsewhere, so I wasn’t surprised when he introduced me to them. What surprised me was this: It’s all straight from the playbook of any Catholic priest worth his salt. Practical Tips for Advising the Penitent 101.
2.
Here are some samples.
Revolutionary Scientific Discovery: People can be primed to think and behave a certain way. For example, seeing images or hearing words related to a particular theme (money, old age, happiness) causes people to embody habits and values related to that theme, without even realizing it.
What Your Priest Told You: Read your Bible, watch EWTN now and again, and throw away that trashy magazine. We are influenced by what we see and do, so pick your influences wisely.
Revolutionary Scientific Discovery: Willpower takes effort. It’s hard to resist temptation when you are exhausted from another task.
What Your Priest Told You: Take care of yourself, get a good night’s sleep, and don’t surround yourself with temptations.
Revolutionary Scientific Discovery: You can only concentrate on one task at a time.
What Your Priest Told You: Fill your time with wholesome activities so you aren’t so tempted by sinful ones. If you feel tempted laying there in bed, get up and go do something else.
There’s more just in the first four chapters, but that’s a start. Great book so far, I’m going to try to find a copy when I get home. For those of you who don’t want to read 481 pages of summaries of scientific research, just go talk to your priest. He already knows what it says.
3.
I have really enjoyed wandering around the World Series of Poker.
Yes, that surprised me too.
3.5
. . . paper towels. They are our new controlled substance. I have to keep them hidden away in our bedroom, thus harnessing the power of sloth to defeat the temptation to extravagance. Otherwise we’d go through a roll a day, easy. Even though we have a basket of perfectly good dish towels right on the counter. Which each get used once before being tossed in the dirty laundry by certain people I live with . . . I’d lock them* in the bedroom, too, but I can’t tolerate that much sogginess.
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Well that’s all for today. Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, help yourself if you are so inclined. I’m still out of town so comment moderation is slow, but as long as you limit yourself to one link per comment you’ll escape the spam dragon and your brilliance will eventually see light of day. Have a great week!
*The towels, not the children. There is no way I’d store my children in my bedroom. They’d use up all the paper towels.
Thanks to our host Jen Fulwiler at Conversion Diary, where you can see as many quick takes as a person could stand. Of course you’ll pray for Allie Hathaway before you click the link.
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Aside from the fact that Las Vegas, Nevada is the pit of depravity — when Stephen King wrote The Stand he got it right about that — it’s a great place to visit. I prefer to go in the spring or fall, or in the winter when you can play in the snow on Mt. Charleston, but my friends and relatives always seem to be coming up with reasons I should go during the Months of Death.
And it turns out you can have fun in the desert in the summer, even if you are like me and not only despise gambling but you hate it too. Here’s my list of the 7 Best Things to in Las Vegas in the Summer:
1.
Hike around Red Rocks National Park. See all that shade? As you enter the park, on the right side at the beginning of the scenic loop are these lovely red cliffs that provide morning shade until about 10 AM ish. So that in the middle of the summer, you can hike in metro Las Vegas and not bake. It is a magical thing.
Summerlin, by the way, is the community at the foot of Red Rocks. Upscale, has places like an REI store, Starbucks, everything you need to refresh your inner 1% after too many minutes observing the masses in front of the slot machines. One of my very favorite Las Vegas activities, though it isn’t summer-friendly so much, is walking the neighborhoods looking at the xeriscaping. The yards are very small, and so in the wealthier areas people go all out to make interesting gardens.
2.
Visit theAdventure Dome. I usually hate amusement parks because you have to stand outside in the heat, and you can’t come and go freely. The Adventure Dome avoids both these problems. Get an all day pass, come and go as you like, and on a weekday evening the place empties out after a certain time and you can ride the roller coasters without waiting in the line. The whole time you can see the sky through the rose-colored dome, but bask in the refreshing breeze of the air-conditioner all the same.
I guess you also lose all your stature as an environmentalist, but you had already lost most of it by showing up in Las Vegas anyway.
3.
Hike around Mt. Charleston. Or just drive up and picnic. Cool, pleasant, think 70-80 degrees. If you are hiking any distance at all, pack gear for inclement weather. I’ve been pushed off the mountain by afternoon rain (cold!) and hail in August. If you are a lowlander, be mindful of the altitude so you don’t explode your brain or bust a lung or something.
4.
Hang out at the Mandalay Bay. Actually I have never done this. (But soon? Yes!) But I tell you about it because this is where my sister’s family used to go for weekends “away” when they lived in town — book a room for the weekend, and then you can hang out atthe beach in between running the kids to soccer practice and stuff. One of the nice things about Las Vegas is that the sprawl really is not that bad for a city its size. You can get back and forth between the strip and the suburbs pretty quickly.
(Now my sister is sensible and spends her summers in metro Portland. I’m not allowed to tell you about that. We’ll just pretend the Pacific Northwest is cold and rainy all year long, and that there is no reason you should consider a summer vacation to that corner of the world. Nope. You didn’t hear it from me.)
5.
Quit Las Vegas altogether and go to Zion National Park, the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, or Great Basin National Park. If you have a week in Las Vegas, it is worth considering whether you really want to spend a week in Las Vegas.
All three of those parks are summer destinations. Save Death Valley for your winter trip. Don’t let the name fool you.
6.
Hoover Dam.
7.
Whatever it was you came for. You have to do that at least one day, right?
Unless you really did fly all the way to Las Vegas just to hang out in some dank casino wasting your money and losing your hearing. In which case, maybe um, take in a movie, or go to masstimes.org and work out a tour of the daily masses, or go shopping . . . ? Something, anything. I heard there’s a good quilting store in Henderson. Oh, and the Children’s Museum isn’t half bad. And the Springs Preserve is delightful, if you can withstand the weird combination of eco-worship and eco-confusion in the propganda buildings.
Maybe it would be better if you just stayed home this year.
Sarah Reinhard gamely sent me a review e-copy of her forthcoming book, and if you blog you can have one too. The snippets I’ve read seem to up the usual Sarah R. excellent standard, though I’ll admit I went straight to the special-feature paragraphs written by Jane Lebak (tear-jerking do-not-miss-lives-will-be-saved), Dorian Speed (encouragement-for-the-discouraged-disillusioned-and-cut-wide-open), and myself (you be the judge).
Heaven’s Fury, Heaven’s Grace is not my usual genre, but I asked Mrs. Peshek if I could borrow a copy to read on the plane. She was fresh out. But as I was on my way out the door after a lovely afternoon of mom-talk, UPS arrived with the new stash! So I’ve got a loaner, and can’t wait to see what it’s like.
[UPS also brought Mrs. P. a big box of school books from Rainbow Resource — which happens to be the best deal going for getting a teacher’s manual for the Oxford Latin Course. And boring things like Saxon Math and other stuff normal homeschoolers use.]
I picked upLand of the Morning at the homeschool used-book fair the other week — great piece of history. It is the memoir of an American missionary-kid to the Philippines who was captured by the Japanese and spent her teen years in the internment camp for expats near Manila. It is written as a historical document, not as a heart-thumping fact-based-novel. There’s a good overview of life as a missionary before the war that sets the stage for the details of prison life, and then freedom after.
The McAnlis family was Protestant, but the treatment of Catholicism (limited to times when it came up — just a few anecdotes here and there) is 100% respectful. The nun stories from the internment years make it fun and inspiring reading for the Catholic reader.
My copy is headed out on loan to my dad and stepmother (who hails from the Philippines), with the hope that it will come back to me in the fall for a tour around the inferno-area, then reside in my library for future homeschool use.
Not Going Anywhere:
I finished reading The Bible Tells Me So, and yes, it really is as good as Lisa Mladnich says it is. Review coming soon, but probably not until I return from vacation, since my review notes are written on the inside cover of the book.
Lest you think I overstate the case when I say you should save time and just buy one now before Christian comes to his senses and raises the price . . . my husband is reading this book. Do you understand what that means? The man is not like me. He doesn’t just “read books” for a hobby. Basically he reads the Bible and not much else, except Fine Woodworking and a few photoblogs and archery catalogs.
But we’re ramping up for another family-sized read through the Bible over this year and the next, and Mr. Bible Guy (the one I married) is working through the other Mr. Bible Guy’s book as a warm-up for that. Great book.
Over at the Catholic Writers Guild blog, I just queued up a good troll-baiting guest post (Not mine! For once I’m mostly innocent!) to go live first thing in the morning. And I gave our regularly-scheduled bloggers a private talking-to about how EASY it is to write on this topic. So we’ll see how they do.
I’m going to keep this post sticky for the next two weeks, so if you post something on the theme of freedom, or have an on-topic link you’d like to share, feel free to put it in this combox.
Thanks once again to our host, Larry D. at Acts of the Apostasy, who likes lawn tools. I think he’s serious about that.
Click and be amazed.
1.
Vice is on my mind this week, as I head out to Las Vegas to drink mudslides go on a very spiritual retreat with a group of NFP-lovin’using, mostly-Catholic ladies (and a few spouses). I’m also going to spend a few days with my dad and stepmom*, and have lunch with one of my favorite Orcas Island Fire & Rescue diesel-genius people.
SuperHusband is staying home to suffer mind the children. He’s going to pawn part of that job off on our unsuspecting friends.
2.
So, vices. We inherited one of these:
But we didn’t really need an ice box, what with already owning a big white electric-powered refrigerator. Also, the ice wagon hasn’t come to our block in ages. So we store other things in it.
3.
Which is how we started calling it the “Vice Chest”. Because at first we stored our liquor in it.
Then we had a child, and needed to store the liquor up high out of reach, and my brother gave us a television. And after a few years of owning a TV, it occurred to us that the magic box was not strictly limited to playing home videos (original purpose) or Raffi (new best friend). Rather than sitting home bored out of our minds because you really can’t take a toddler and a newborn to the symphony or the jazz club or art house cinema, and you really can’t do a whole lot else useful with a baby, toddler, and one on the way making you puke all hours . . . we could acquire a DVD player, and watch something other than hand-me-down Raffi videos.
And that buying a DVD — even at full retail — was cheaper than hiring a babysitter.
So the Vice Chest went from storing liquor to storing DVD’s. The name still fit.
3.5
And then I rearranged a year or so ago, and the Vice Chest moved to our bedroom, and all it held was old extension cords behind the top left door, and the poor piece of furniture was moping for lack of a mission. Until this spring I discovered the new controlled substance in our home, and now it holds
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Well that’s all for today. Tuesday is Link Day for all topics, help yourself if you are so inclined. Post as many as you want, but only one per comment or the spam dragon will eat you up and I’ll never even know. Have a great week!
*Not as much my stepmom this round, because she has a sideline gig** cashiering at the World Series of Poker. My dad says it sounds like crickets in there. Literally. Silence and the squeak of chips.
**Technically her profession is running medical laboratories. And then for fun in the winter she works for H&R block doing taxes. We could basically say she is an exceedingly resourceful and hard-working fun hog.
I’ve gotten a reader request to write up my thoughts on choosing a curriculum, so I’m jumping ahead to the end of the series, and then I’ll come back and revisit Math and Religion.
Can you afford it? With a very few exceptions, I don’t ever recommend pursuing education you can’t afford. End of story. Kolbe and the like are not cheap (though Kolbe is less expensive than some of the other alternatives), and as with many good or convenient things, when you are short on cash, you have to find another way. Sometimes the other way is in fact a better way, so don’t panic.
–> Don’t spend your whole book budget at the beginning of the year. Save some money for mid-year changes, because you aren’t omniscient, so there’s a decent chance you’ll pick one or two flops. It’s okay. Set aside the cash so you have it when you need it.
Does is fit with your real life? That’s how we ended up with Kolbe, FYI. I’m perfectly capable of writing and teaching from my own curriculum, and enjoyed doing it. But I’m not at all above outsourcing cleaning help, buying prepared foods, paying some other mom to drive the carpool to dance class . . . whatever it takes to make real life work. [I once started to ask my daughter to pray my rosary for me, then remembered, “No, that’s not something you’re supposed to delegate.”] When I was at a point where something (else) had to give, on the long list of things I do, writing up weekly course plans was one I learned I could outsource. So we did. It’s been good.
–> My point here is to encourage parents to look closely at the time and energy and involvement different curricula require. Don’t pick Math Made Easy By 60 Minutes of Absolute Silence if you just gave birth to quadruplets. It’s okay to pick the cheesy, low-intensity, lowest-common-denominator program, if that’s the one you’ll actually do. Doing all (or most) of the work from a cushy program is better than doing little or none of the work from that majestic High Standards Because We Are Achievers program.
Do you like it? You. The parent. When you read about the curriculum, or thumb through the book, does it make you smile? If it makes you groan, or you think, “I guess I have to do this because these smart people say you have to, but how on earth . . .” that’s your warning. Back away. If you hate it, it’s not going to work.
Do you believe it matters? If the student finds it fun, the student will do it. Unfortunately, there’s a 95% chance you are going to try to teach your child something the child doesn’t think is fun. Which means your willpower is the only thing that will make the learning happen. Don’t spend a lot of money and space and guilt on a product you don’t actually think matters.
–> I am increasingly convinced that the reason Living Books or Nature Study or Memorization Of Everything or Latin First English Second or Name That Approach, Written About With Fervor And You’re Ruining Your Child If You Neglect This One Thing . . . I’m convinced they work, and work well, because of the teacher’s enthusiasm. There are bad teaching methods, don’t mistake me. And I have methods I love and firmly believe in, and that I think make for sound teaching and real education. But ultimately some part of my success as a teacher isn’t about having found The One True Way, it’s about having found a way that I can run with, that matches who I am and how I teach and the way my brain works and helps me connect to my students.*
As you learn about curricula, look for choices that just seem so right. They just seem to fit. They make you smile and go, “Yes!”. That’s your ideal.
Do you scruple? Kolbe is very intent on subsidiarity, and I love that. As the parent-teacher, I blackline some assignments, I add to others, some things I trade out wholesale. I have a friend who nearly died of heart failure using Seton, not because Seton is a money-maker for cardiologists, but because she wasn’t comfortable with paring down the curriculum as she needed to do (and as her advisers at Seton said she should). She does everything 100%. Seton proposes a tremendous curriculum, and she didn’t know how to say No to the parts that were too much. She needed a lighter program that she could plow through from start to finish, and rest knowing she had Done The Whole Thing.
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Those are my main thoughts. I know we have a number of other homeschoolers reading here. What else would you add?
*This, I believe, is why Math books are like a religion unto themselves.
It’s not about the people. To a man my fellow parishioners, and everyone I’ve met in my diocese and anywhere I’ve traveled (except that one cranky priest one time, but come on, everybody has bad days) — everyone is really very nice. Kind, caring people. No complaints. None.
Still, it’s lonely.
4.
And it isn’t a strictly Catholic problem. I’ve had multiple Evangelical friends — and if Catholics are a little shy and reserved, trust me, Evangelicals are not — I’ve had a number of non-Catholic friends wander from congregation to congregation in search of companionship. Someone to notice them. To care about them. To view them as something other than a potential nursery worker, or those people you smile at in the pews but really if they fell into a crevasse tomorrow, no one would much realize.
5.
Part of the problem is geographic. I see church people on Sunday, but the rest of the week we retreat to our different neighborhoods spread throughout the city. I can distinctly remember the last time I ran into an acquaintance from church outside of Mass — it was several months ago, at Publix — and interestingly, the time before that was maybe six months prior, same lady, at the library. But they just moved to Seattle, so that’s over. Oh wait — and I ran into the dad of one of my students at McDonald’s this winter — I had turned to look because I was struck at how polite he was, the way he spoke to the counter lady.
Part of it is structural. Our parish has five masses in a weekend — if someone’s missing, for all you know they just slept in an hour, or decided they like the 8:00 AM organist better. You might see an announcement in the parish bulletin if someone’s dead or nearly dead, if the next of kin notified the parish office. For all I know, I run into fellow parishioners everywhere, and never even know it, because we aren’t at the same Mass.
Part of it is architectural. You want to say to hello someone after Mass, but they slip out the other door. I used to go down to coffee and donuts, but the room is acoustically alive — too loud and you can’t hear anyone, so conversation is strained.
–> Something my parish does right: We have a fabulous playground right next to the church building. So the parents of young children do have a natural way to meet up and chat after Mass. Which I love, and have made many friends that way.
Part of it is economic. I keep befriending people who move away. I’m sure it’s not me. Sometimes I when I introduce myself to someone, I feel like saying, “Are you going to move or drop dead* in the next two years? Because I’d sure like some friends that stick around.”
Part of it is personality and state of life. I’m an introvert. I want one-on-one conversations about substantial topics. Just throwing us all into the gym for a giant spaghetti supper or pancake breakfast, and calling it parish-togetherness because we’re all in the same room? No thanks. But I’m not at a stage in my life when it’s easy to get out for a small-group bible study, or meet someone for coffee, or pick up the phone and talk for ten minutes without having to break up three fights and answer seven urgent questions, two of which really were urgent, and one of which involved the dog throwing up.
6.
Loneliness is no reason to leave the Church. It’s not a social club. It’s a place to worship the one true God, to prepare your soul for Heaven, to gear yourself up for serving others here on earth. The little Christs come to serve, not to be served.
And this is why I’m such a thorn in everyone’s flesh about solid theology programs. Because my goodness, I don’t care how wonderful your youth program is, or how great your ladies’ monthly luncheon is at making lonely widows feel at home, sooner or later as a Catholic you’re going to be in the pit. You’ll be the odd person out, the one nobody remembers to call, the one for whom there is no parish ministry that fits your life and your abilities.
Faith formation can’t be all about relationships and togetherness, or there’s no reason to stick around when the group doesn’t meet spec. If there’s one question religious ed needs to answer, it is: “Why should I bother coming to Mass when my parish is horrible?”
[My parish is not horrible. Far from it. I am usually so happy to be home after having to go visit some other place. Like the church with the horrid dentist-office decor, or the one with the oppressively low ceilings, or the one with no vacant seats up front . . . but I do kinda like the neon lights in the ceiling that change to match the colors of the liturgical season, out at my Dad’s parish in Las Vegas . . . though their traffic pattern for the communion line is inscrutable.]
7.
Solutions, anyone?
I do feel an amazing kinship with the lady I always see at adoration and who I run into other places around the parish, even though we rarely get to talk to each other, but you can just tell she’s your friend, and she has masses said for everyone including my grandfather when he died, even though she’d never met or even heard of him before it was listed in the parish bulletin. Most of the time it is enough to just see familiar people, to have that sense of home, even if you don’t really know them.
But sometimes you want more. Real live friends that you see outside of Mass.
I know the playground-after-Mass method works. And I’ve made friends teaching religious ed, volunteering is good that way. Haunting the local Catholic bookstore will make you at least be friends with the owner there (they go to another parish). Slowly, slowly, we build up friendships with other families through trying to set up dinner together this week, a park date that week . . . but it’s long work, and we’re all so busy, and our lives so separate that every get-together has to be planned, and often the effort evaporates when some small thing throws a wrench in the works.
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Anyhow, all that to say, that if we aren’t welcoming to our members — really welcoming, not just smile-smile handshake-handshake — how exactly are we perceived by outsiders? As with catechesis, so with relationships: The new evangelization starts in the pews.
*Pleasantly few people I know actually drop dead after meeting me. God bless modern medicine.
