There are lots of people who know exactly what Purgatory is like, but few of them are available for comment. A review of the literature, however, points to some likely ways that Jack T. Chick could be spending his hours of purification.
Top Ten Ways Jack Chick Will Spend His Purgatory
- Helping St. Anthony look for things.
- Putting finishing touches on portraits of the Blessed Mother.
- Listening to Saints Peter and Paul reminisce about everything that’s ever happened at the Vatican, for real.
- Meeting all the Jesuits.
- Praying along with the prayer requests mentioned on Catholic Answers Live.
- Assisting St. Rita in all the desperate pleas for help with last-minute Halloween costumes.
- Working with the purgatory-residing authors of anemic bread-wine-sharing-dinner-table songs to rewrite their lyrics into hymns suited to Eucharistic Adoration.
- Writing If I can’t keep my pagan gods’ names straight, I will visit the local library to fact-check 1,000 times on the blackboard. In hieroglyphics.
- Preparing a big Thank You Jimmy Akin! sign to hang at the gates of Heaven.
- Passing out the plenary indulgences to the suffering souls who’ve just been released.
Remember, kids, for the love of all that is Jesuit: You can spring Jack Chick at any time. May he rest in peace.
As I shared in part 2 of my conversion story at New Evangelizers, I owe Jack Chick eternal gratitude:
Having to answer these egregious attacks on the Church was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t have the luxury of saying, “Well, I just like the liturgy,” or “This seems to be where God wants me for now.” I had to turn on my brain and find out: Is this faith true? Can I know beyond a reasonable doubt that this is for real? Because it’s lovely to have bright glowing memories of a spiritual experience, but what about when the shine wears off? What about when all the scandals that have rocked the Church take their turn at my place for a change? Will I still believe when things aren’t so easy anymore?
I still have my annotated copy of Are Roman Catholics Christian? full of penciled-in Bible verses refuting the assorted misinformation. (Quick answer: Why yes, we are. Thanks for asking.)
I can’t seem to find a proper review, but here’s my Goodreads blurb on Jimmy Akin’s excellent book The Nightmare World of Jack Chick:
Great book. As always with Jimmy Akin, it’s thoroughly researched, and calmly and charitably expressed. In addition, the book is a fun topic, not technical and it’s a quick read. Great choice for teens just getting going with apologetics. My son loved it!
You want this book. Looks like it’s out of print right now, but you can read a version at Catholic Answers.
Cover art courtesy of Catholic Answers and Goodreads.