It’s time for the Advent Wars to flare up again here at the Fitz castle. I think I’ve found my solution, and it’s related to my latest at the Register and a new book out by Suzan & Eric Sammons.
Let’s start over at NCR: 11 Ways to Prepare Your Boy to Be a Great Priest. I’m pretty sure that post is now officially the most popular thing I’ve ever written.* To clarify and provide related links, at the blorg I put together a compendium: Evangelization and Discipleship for the Boys & Girls Who Live At Your House. With that as a preface, here’s how my solution to the Advent Wars fits into my approach to fostering vocations in my kids.
There are 12 Days of Christmas, and They Don’t Start Until December 25th
The annual battle concerns when to put up the Christmas tree and how to decorate it. The mother resides in the Advent Austerity camp. The more closely we imitate the lodgings of St. John the Baptist the better, right? The children, led by the Eldest Daughter, would be perfectly happy to have Rudolph on the Roof beginning November 1. In years past children have literally sneaked the fake Christmas tree out of the attic while I was sleeping and set it up in the living room in total silence. This might be the one thing they manage to accomplish without any bickering whatsoever, so I count my blessings and offer it up.
But this year things will be different.
This year, Suzan Sammons put into my hands a review copy of her new book The Jesse Tree: An Advent Devotion. I like it. There’s a chart that shows you how to get all your ornaments up during Advent, no matter how weird of a liturgical year we’re having. The sample ornaments in the book are crazy simple. The daily suggested reflection and prayer hits the spot without overwhelming. It’s like this book was written by a couple Christian parents with a pile of kids. I recommend this book.
Also you longtime readers know me: I’m not doing no Jesse Tree. Sheesh. Who are we kidding?
But you know who can do a Jesse Tree? My crafty Christmas-crazy kids, that’s who. So the new deal is this:
- IF children want to do the Jesse Tree . . .
- AND the teenagers who now have drivers licenses agree to do all the craft supply shopping . . .
- AND the teenager who tends to hog craft projects solemnly promises to let her little sisters have a fair share of the ornament-making work . . .
- AND the 11-year-old who best succeeds at daily routines and pestering us all into responsible family behavior and who happens to be a great Junior Lector agrees to host the Jesse Tree prayer time each evening . . .
THEN parents will fund the ornament budget and let children put the tree up before Advent begins, FOR ADVENT ORNAMENTS ONLY.
That’s my solution.
How does this fit in with my vocations post at the Register? I’m so glad you asked.
Kids need to own their faith.
There are a bazillion ways to be Catholic, and kids need to figure out for themselves which devotions and prayers and disciplines are made for the type of people that they are. If God fills you with a passion for Pinterest projects, you should run with it. My eldest daughter has long been certain she has a vocation to marriage, and I don’t disagree. The homemaking side of holy day observances is part of such a vocation. So why shouldn’t she practice it?
If I do everything for my kids, they’ll never learn how to do things themselves. That’s true of laundry, cooking, homework — and it’s true of their faith. You have to give kids chances to practice being Catholic, all on their own. Now that two of my kids can drive? I totally let the kids go to whatever Sunday Mass they want, regardless of when the parents are attending.
It is really important that kids know down to their bones that the faith is something they do, not something they only do with their parents. They have to practice showing up at church alone so that it feels normal and natural for them to wake up on a Sunday and get in the car and drive to Mass someplace. I don’t mean you’re a bad parent if your whole family gets in the car and goes to Mass together every week. I mean that we parents need to look for ways — and this Jesse Tree thing is an example — that happen to be good ways, given your own family life, for your kids to practice taking charge of their faith.
You’re still the parent. They aren’t totally spun off on their own yet. But if you see some good opportunity for a kid in your family to do a thing he or she naturally wants to do and that provides that chance to take the lead on the faith, let the kid have at it.
Related Links, Starting with Crafts:
- My friend Sandra pointed me towards Ginger Snap Crafts, where you can find instructions for wood slice ornaments and for snowflake ornaments among many others. You could switch out the snowflakes for Jesse Tree symbols. The wood grain nativity set was what originally caught her eye – don’t use treated lumber if you want your preschooler to be able to build Bethlelem with it.
- You do know about Catholic Icing, right?
From Advents Past:
I don’t know why all the lists come in fives.
Two New Holiday Movies & a Grammar Lesson:
Dickens, Scrooge, and the Road to Redemption: A Review of “The Man Who Invented Christmas” – Reviewed by Tony Rossi
“The Star”: Hijinks and Holiness Make a Fun Christmas Story for the Family. The handful of Catholic writers I’ve talked to who’ve seen the preview have loved it — and some of them are quite prickly about Hollywood getting hold of Bible stories. So scout around for reviews if you’re not certain.
How to Make Your Last Name Plural This Holiday Season Because you love America and Tiny Tim and don’t want a reindeer to have to die each time you abuse an apostrophe.
Who is that Eric Sammons Guy?
It turns out he writes good books.
- 7 Reasons You Should Buy “Who is Jesus Christ?” by Eric Sammons
- Book Review: Eric Sammons’ Holiness for Everyone
And did you notice how beautifully edited those two books were? I did. It was Suzan Sammons we have to thank for that, in case you’re ever looking for a good copy-editor.
And finish to the round up . . .
The Top Three Things I’m Most Glad I Added to My Holiday Season
- The Tony Wolf Advent Calendar (which my youngest loves, loves loves)
- Reading Dickens’ Christmas Carol – DO IT I BEG YOU.
- Christmas Caroling. It’s much easier to do than you think. Try it!
These have stood the test of time. They are my go-to holiday things. Now you look around and find your holiday things. Happy Advent Wars!
Image by Xavier Romero-Frias (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
*Correction: As of mid-morning, How to Avoid Becoming a Bitter Catholic still had the lead in total shares. Look at them both and vote with your sharing buttons!
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